Lies, Rumours and Speculation….

All the time I get people asking me questions. “Hey Hellboy, when do you think Tool will be playing in country X?” “When do you think the Vicarious video will be coming out?”. I’m always happy to answer these questions, but the truth is, most of the time I don’t know the answer.

Anyway, since it’s a slow news day, and in order to inform those of us who don’t have the time on inclination to trawl through the net or Fourtheye/TA/TDN etc. here are my thoughts on several topical Tool-related topics.

Bear in mind, most of this is based on speculation, innuendo and gut feelings, so feel free to agree, disagree or give us some more facts and/or wild speculation:

Tool Touring:

• Regardless of what’s been said, I don’t think we’ll see any more Tool shows in Australia squeezed into an already tight schedule. This goes for NZ as well, though I guess it would be easy for them to play a show there before doing the Big Day Out. Tool don’t seem to be fond of playing shows on consecutive nights, so that doesn’t leave many gaps.
• Tool will be touring the US again in Northern Spring. This is all but confirmed.
• Tool will probably tour Europe again during the Northern Summer. Festivals perhaps?
• I’d be surprised if Tool didn’t head back down under after that. Look for Tool shows perhaps August-September 2007
• If Tool decide to head to South/Central American, I’d suggest it would be around then as well.
• Tool will then probably do one last run at the US before going back into “hibernation”.
• Don’t expect the set to dramatically change – get over it!

Vicarious Video & DVD:

• Expect the video to have far more CGI than previous ones.
• Unless Adam finished the video in the weeks before heading to Europe, don’t expect to see it anytime this year
• Audio Commentary will again be provided by a guest. I predict it will be Mike Patton.

Live DVD:

• I don’t think we’ll see a live DVD at all until after Tool call it a day
• We certainly won’t see it anytime before 2008
• Expect some live video to be on the Vicarious DVD

Tool:

• Don’t expect a new album before 2009
• If Maynard get involved with another band (APC or something else) don’t expect a new album before 2010
• Half expect that there won’t be a new album
• Every song on the new album will be about anal sex
• Somewhat expect Maynard to retire from touring due to problems with his voice, vineyard/family commitments, etc.
• Expect Adam to release some kind of recording in 2008
• Expect the unexpected

Other:

• Toolarmy will never change
• Blair will continue to post whatever the hell he wants
• Danny will find a way to make his drumkit bigger and better
• Doors will comment on this article about how Tool suck anyway and should retire right now before they make fools of themselves (that’s if they haven’t already)