Fancy dinner with Maynard?

Want to hob nob with Maynard in a fancy Beverly Hills restaurant while enjoying some fine food paired expertly with his wine? Scarpetta in Beverly Hills are offering you that opportunity on Saturday the 23rd of March for the low, low price of $200 per head:

Sadly Die Eier Von Satan didn’t make the menu, but I’m sure it will be a great night – just don’t ask Maynard about Tool!

37 thoughts on “Fancy dinner with Maynard?

  1. Undertowjones

    Sign me up… Then I can troll him with questions of tool , new album etc. and nothing of wine or Puscifer ( both of which I actually enjoy). Just to watch mans head explode

  2. Bogart

    He’ll be sitting at a different table surrounded by security.

    Really that’s not a bad price. I did a wine tasting paired with food and it was about $150 per head.

  3. Zwerewolf

    This is a very normal event for this type of interest. Good wine, good food and in Beverly Hills I’d say this is fair priced… might even been a good deal actually (if this is your sort of thing and it’s definitely my sort of thing). If you’ve ever been to Beverly Hills you’ll know that it’s not going to be in some piece of shit run down building either. It’s not a TOOL related event and I doubt it will be filled with TOOL fans either. If they won’t even spend the $30-$50 for the Opiate re-release I doubt the’ll spend $200 just to eat and drink wine in a room with Maynard especially if they think he’s a sellout and a bag of dicks… I would pay for this if it were closer to home because I don’t think Maynard is a bag of dicks nor do I think he’s a sellout. I’m actually interested in drinking his wine and considering most of the bottles I’d like to try about close to $100 why not have an awesome fucking dinner with several different glasses of his wine? That’s how I look at it… Did you see the menu? MMMMMMM….. That’s good eats.

  4. Pgrantham

    I bet Maynard would be happier if wasn’t such a fucking alcoholic. After quitting drinking for a while, detoxing, and revamping my diet…not only am I now happier in general, but when I have the occasional beer, I would feel like COMPLETE SHIT and pissed off at absolutely anything in my way the next morning. When I was in my drunken stupor of drinking everyday, I didn’t really notice how bad I felt and the negative attitude I would display to others.

    Whatever. Wine and dining still sounds like a merry ole’time.


      i think some of us can simply enjoy some wine in the evening without ruining our lives. some are able to enjoy spirits without it becoming some big “issue”.

  5. Zwerewolf

    I don’t know that the people going to this dinner are going to have a very long period of time to talk to him individually. I’m sure there are only so many seats being sold and he’ll be sitting at a table with select people more than likely. At these type of events there’s a certain etiquette that goes along with it and that includes not getting up and interrupting someone elses dinner and conversation at another table. If I had to say anything it would be short and to the point… “I love the music you’ve done with TOOL and A Perfect Circle and have always found your lyrics to be very eye opening and vaugue enough to allow the listener to interpret it in many different lights of their own which I believe is skillful execution on your part. Thank you for sharing your ideas with us.” If I had tasted his wine by that moment I’d definitely comment on it and say (if it was good) that “I will be looking forward to obtaining more and will be very interested in seeing the success of the wineries in that area.” Remember… this area in which he’s built a winery from the ground up is not known for wine at all… California holds most of the bragging rights in this country when it comes to wine… Anyways, point is… wouldn’t have an opportunity to say much and I don’t know that I’d want to. I appreciate his writing and achievements but I couldn’t see myself chumming it up with him… I DID GET TO MEET RICHARD KIEL ONCE…. That was awesome! (for those of you who do not know who he is he played Jaws in 2 007 films “The Spy Who Loved Me” and “Moonraker”) He was such a nice guy and I had already been a fan of his especially after he played Mr. Larson in Happy Gilmore haha. This happened oh about 4 years ago at a skit resort. He was sitting in the bar most of the day while his kids and grand kids were skiing or snowboarding. He had a cane and an oxygen tank with him so he’s getting old and for people as big as he is… well they eventually have severe health issues. But he was spry and I shook his big old claw and told him I loved everything he was in and shot some shit with him about his family and the super bowl because it was the day of the super bowl. His hand were fucking gigantic! It was crazy I got home and called my mom immediately because she got me hooked on the 007 movies when I was a kid. She was jealous I met him… :-)

  6. bobbob

    lol. seriously, bitch or do whatever you want at me but anyone that backs this up has their head up their ass. coming from mr ‘i dont want to bother with fans’ and all that is now having dinner with fans if you pay. what a douche! ya, u can stick your wine bottles up your ass maynard! haha

  7. Zwerewolf

    HAHAHA! He did not have big metal teeth. If he did though I would have totally grabbed my camera out of the car and ran back as quick as possible for a picture. Meh.. I’m not big on autographs or photos of celebs. I get to keep that moment in my brain until I get dementia, amnesia, some other form of memory loss or die… Very very nice guy and of all the odd ball people in the world I was glad to have met him for sure. “Hey Mr. Larson how’s the….” “Oh! it’s great! Doctor says the nail comes out next week!” Bahahaha!

  8. Zwerewolf

    James said

    ToolUser said
    Next will be figurines of the band. I shit you not! Is it just me or are they becoming more of a laughing stock by the minute?

    This is the most ignorant post I have ever read on this entire forum. Maynard is first and foremost in our minds the lead singer of Tool, but he is also a vintner, and his wine making has nothing to do with his music making with Tool (Puscifer is another story, in my opinion, a hybrid project). Further, his wine making has nothing to do with the image or actions of Tool or the other members. Danny’s not going to call him up and go, “Hey man, don’t you think this wine tasting deal is kind of a sell-out move? It’s kind of screwing up our mysterious image,” because he has nothing to do with Caduceus Cellars or Merkin Vineyards. If you can’t differentiate between the music Tool creates, the wine Caduceus creates, and Maynard’s obligation to the two, then I really don’t know what to tell you. These guys have worked hard for their success, and personally I will wait as long as necessary to hear their work again–they can do whatever the hell they want with what they have earned, and they owe you nothing.

    Or, if you have your head too far up your ass for that, remember that Maynard “sold out long before you ever even heard [his] name.”

    I’m out.

    Thanks for the laughs, dude.

    By the way, welcome to the children and drury group. I’m sure I’m missing a few others, but I’m sure you’ll eventually rub shoulders with them.

    Fucking hell.

    @Crow011 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I ignored that comment from that guy (against ever fiber in my body) just for the respect of the forum and Hellboy. We shouldn’t get tossed off and spiral out into an all out argument about TOOL but I do agree with you. This event has nothing to do with TOOL and TOOL has nothing to do with the event. TOOL are that collection of four people making music together and not the individuals persuing what they enjoy in their off time from TOOL. I think maybe there’s a jealousy issue here because most of us can’t pursue all the projects we’re passionate about simply because we can’t afford to… Get over it… there are sacrifices that can be made to pursue happiness and if you choose not to make the sacrifices that’s on you.

  9. Zwerewolf

    @crow maybe i misunderstood what you meant in your post and you weren’t the one that stated ToolUser’s post was lame but whatever… whoever I need to direct my last comment at so be it. That’s how I feel.

  10. Zwerewolf

    @CROW What’s your malfunction dude? Why are you such a fucking hard ass? If you haven’t peeled your eye lids back in a while I think you should. The format of this forum is kind of hard to follow when you’re skimming through it sometimes. I don’t get you… You seem to always have a fucking attitude and for what I do not know? If you don’t like it then don’t fucking buy it! If you’re going to verbally assault me then why don’t we settle this in person. I’m sure you’re a puny little limp dick pimple faced fuck that doesn’t know what a vagina feels like. “On my woman’s fucking life”? I doubt your Jenna Jameson flesh like doll has a fucking heart beat. You’re a fucking waste of life you piece of shit.

  11. Zwerewolf

    @crow …. You can’t be completely serious if you don’t have a real girl… She’ll have to go on an adventure inside of a whale with Geppetto before you can call her that. Get fucked you joke.

  12. Zwerewolf

    @Hellboy sorry for the spat. I love your site and it’s always very informative however, these little forums become a fucking warzone because of people like Crow and by people I mean the ass hole of a wart hog. I’m not sure I’ll be returning for comments anymore. I would think this would be a place of common interest where people can share opinions and not be attacked by other like minded people but I was wrong. Thanks for the site.

  13. Zwerewolf

    Due to the nature of my work I meet celebrities every day. The excitement has worn off years ago, if it was ever even there. One celebrity stood out however. There I was minding my own business when Gary Buesey came up to me, gave me a bear hug and told me how great it was to see me again. He started to chit-chat about old times as he had me pinned up against the wall with his face about an inch from mine. He said to call him and hang out sometime soon. He embraced me again to say goodbye and turned away spitting a huge glob of phlem onto the floor as he walked away. When I looked up the entire crew was looking at me with looks of shock on their faces. One person uttered, “hey man, I didn’t know you knew Gary Buesey!” Well I don’t. It was pretty fuckin’ surreal.


  14. Zwerewolf


    Yep, we’re done. This was your big chance to salvage any hope of me taking you seriously.

    If I chose to be overly-sensitive, I could probably find a way that you directly insulted someone I love.

    But, I’m not going to bother (fuck, you probably didn’t) – and instead, I’ll just look upon you the same way I look upon your buddies: with utter disdain.

    Keep the vitriol comin’, buddy. If you were smart, you’d try to dig UP.

    @crow I want to let it die but missed this post and feel compelled to respond. You see… I’m human and you are striking chords here… What do you want man? This post sounds like I should want to be in your good graces and I’ve had my final chance to redeem myself or something. I don’t get that… Also, I didn’t take a jab at someone you love I took a jab at you. My intention wasn’t to offend someone you love because they simply have nothing to do with this. I said you had a Jenna Jameson doll and I made an insinuation that you screw that doll on a regular basis and refer to it as a real woman… Ever see “Lars and the Real Girl”? Nevermind…. errr… anyways, I don’t know what you want from me. I’ve seen your posts in other forums and I respect alot of what you say sometimes. All of a sudden you come off calling me a retard when I said nothing of any sort that would ever instigate that sort of response. I will not sit here and be called a retard and not say anything back. You don’t know me just like I don’t know you and I’m not the one who flew off the handle… You seriously just come in here and act like you’re the big boss and what you say goes. This is a place of thoughts and opinions and everyone is entitled to one. Then you bring others into it like Drury and expect everyone to choose sides like you’re a werewolf and he’s a vampire and we all sparkle in the fucking moonlight. Are you having a bad day dude? I’m dropping this now for certain but I just needed to point some stuff out to you because you definitely sound like you’re having a bad day. I didn’t attack you unprovoked and I don’t hate you personally because I don’t know you personally but it just seemed chicken shit to call me a retard “on the internet” and then have a problem with me having something to say about it. Sorry that’s all I have to say for now I’m losing my train of thought here… Cheers.

  15. Zwerewolf

    I think most of you guys are giving this more thought than is really required. Maynard is trying to establish his wine business, and this type of event is obviously aimed at that. If there wasn’t a Tool album that is “overdue” I expect there would be very few complaints.


  16. Zwerewolf

    March 16, 2013 at 3:49 pm
    Zwerewolf: paragraphs, man. Paragraphs. Not trying to be a dick or anything but whew, need to break that stuff up!

    Dear Joeypants,

    Your message is crystal clear my friend, paragraphs are prefered. Would that really cause someone to fire napalm at me? The fact that I don’t break my posts up into paragraphs? I mean is it that big of a task to read a post that’s not broken up into paragraphs? I feel like I take up more forum space when I break it up. Do I have the ok to do such a thing now?

    Thanks for not being a dick I really appreicate it (sincerely no sarcasm not joking). Positive and constructive feedback is always appreciated as I would also love to contribute the same to others.

    I really hope everyone enjoys the rest of their day and should you have any questions or concerns please feel free to constructively respond to me.

    Best Regards,


  17. Zwerewolf

    March 16, 2013 at 5:55 pm
    “He performs behind those screens with Puscifer. The ones that like blow up his face.”

    Dear UndKeineEier,

    I’ve only seen that on the video of whatever live late night show they performed on. Back when I was giving Puscifer a chance. That screen deal… that’s pretty cool I kind of liked it. I saw Primus a few years ago and they had something similar for a part of their show.

    Best Regards,

  18. NYHC81

    @Jethro Tool between Bleach, Nevermind, Opiate, Undertow, Gish, Siamese Dream, Rage Against the Machine, Badmotorfinger, Sailing the Seas of Cheese & Pork Soda that summer (93′) when they were all available was the greatest summer ever. My parents talk about the late 60’s but the early 90’s (during the LSD wave) were incredible. When you look back it really added up!!!! Throw in the Beasties….damn, no wonder I never came home for dinner on time!!

  19. bogie314

    Wow – this site has turned into a huge waste of time, HB! I’m not sure when I last read some interesting news or tidbit from any of these whiny self-entitled arrogant pricks. These few arrogant bastards seem to think we all prefer their constant bad breath over no breath at all. Do us all a favor and go fuck yourselves in the ear before you come back here to spew more of your negativity. No wonder MJK hates talking about Tool, cause the fact is about 75% of the fan base consists of high as a kite douche bags who really can’t think for themselves.

    At least the site is still great from a latest news standpoint, so thanks as always for that.

  20. Zwerewolf

    Dear Whomever Reads,

    If you lump TOOL into grunge when referencing Opiate and are comparing it to other albums released around the same time, I guess you might be able to think that it’s possible for Bleach to be better than Opiate.

    However, TOOL has never been anything like grunge and Opiate is basically TOOL’s demo so you’re comparing a full length grunge album to a TOOL EP and… you make no fucking sense at all. Nirvana was great but cannot be compared with TOOL.

    Much Love,


    you can’t comprehend people with money spending it on something they feel they will enjoy?

    everyone is different. this planet has a variety of things to offer and as many different types of people. you aren’t someone that can enjoy this particular event.

    life will go on, and we’ll all keep breathing in spite of this dinner. it’s amazing.

  22. NYHC81

    The image of him doing it at a brunch would be funny. I still don’t understand why he’s always in the back. I know Morrison had social anxiety so he used to keep his eyes closed for the first few songs when he performed with the Doors, or actually turn his back. He wasn’t trying to be weird or artsy he just couldn’t deal with the thought. Maynard for some reason makes a conscious decision to stay in the back or in the dark. One thing he definitely hates is the strobes, flash bulbs and smoke. I remember that old show they did, pre-Undertow, in that ratty small bar shot on VHS where he wouldn’t come out from behind a pole until the spot light on him was turned off. What a freak!!

    Love this band. Can’t wait for new material. Still super psyched, even after more than 20 years. I still remember my older cousin Stephanie taking the Nirvana “Bleach” tape out of my hand and putting “Opiate” in it like it was yesterday. I clearly remember thinking, wow this lead singer’s vocals were even more violent than Kurt when he let loose those screams. Then the drum and bass break change towards the end of “Sweat” blew my mind. My initial reaction was that the breakdown was weird/odd/unique but very hard and fast, like Primus on steroids. They had me.


    I thought it was more about the lasers or camera flashes that he’s trying to avoid by being farther back.

    and yes, because of the nature of monitors, guitar amps, bass, ect. position of where you’re standing can make a huge difference.


    The crowds cameras and laser pointers…not the band, crow.

    Tool is an experience and that includes lights. I saw them before all that, and yes, it still kicked ass.

  25. snaggle

    Oh google had nothing, oh well that’s ok then, google doesn’t know what i had for breakfast yesterday so i guess i didn’t have any breakfast. You’re really showing your stupidity there.

    Listen you need to take Maynard off the pedestal you have him on. I know you have him there because you don’t treat him like a human being, you treat him as some other thing altogether that you hold to impossible standards. If he asks for no flash photography, that should be enough. You should respect your fellow human beings enough to extend that basic, dignified courtesy. The fact that he has some form of epilepsy only adds to the fact. But that shouldn’t enter into it. As a human being asking you to not use flash photography, that should be enough.

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