July 2013 Tool Newsletter

Blair has published the July 2013 Tool Newsletter, which as promised contains answers to the quiz posed in the June one. How did you go?

Other than that, there are no particular revelations in the newsletter.

1)Of the dozen or so spoof Tool CDs included in the spurious catalog in the insert contained in the import (i.e. European) version of Aenima, one of them is actually real (meaning that it at least includes jam sessions by the band and various other recorded material). Though having never been released to the general public, about 30 copies were surreptitiously placed in various record stores in European cities (most of them in Poland) by members of the band and their crew during a tour over there. TRUE OR FALSE?

TRUE. But there is much more to this story – as I have been hinting at for years. Perhaps someday someone will finally figure it out, and before certain things become obsolete.

27 thoughts on “July 2013 Tool Newsletter

  1. RavenpigRavenpig

    Hey I can post here!

    Answers promised, answers given. Complainers will complain. I hope someone out there will upload their copy of the cd in question 1 eventually… If there’s even any copies still in existence.

    He didn’t forget about the “curve ball” so I’d guess it’ll be thrown in a couple of weeks.

    1. rinkwhopper

      The curve ball was the teaser blurb posted on the news section. “So, with that said, here’s all that I have been told so far… (FROM THE JULY, 2013 TOOL NEWSLETTER)”.

      I was thinking it was going to be something cool like the revelation that a new Too’ album has already been secretly recorded and will be given to the world tomorrow. But they’re not Radiohead… sigh.

  2. fulcanelli

    The only thing that was both true and interesting to me was that Problem 8 exists on the 30 CDs that Tool put in the European record stores during the Aenima tour. At least we know where the song exists. Now we need to somehow get whomever owns a copy to rip it and upload it… but I’m sure there’s yet another twist to this. Perhaps it exists as a digital hidden file (data, not audio file) on the CD.

  3. Intension

    Either this problem 8 is just another big roundabout, or they really figure they dont mind if someone finds it now, they just dont want to completely give it away after all these years. But its been long enough to hint at. Who knows though, really? More time will tell, as always with Tool.

  4. AENEMAINMYBUTT

    They are just tugging on our pissers at this point. I mean, Danny had a very similar interview like a year ago saying “expect it in 2013″ and now we get a interview this year with him saying “expect it in 2015″.

  5. Zwerewolf

    What’s the worst that could happen?
    I just emailed Blair through the site letting him know I’d very much like to read about this “curve ball”…
    Short and simple… he’s known to give replies even if they are obscure or irrelevant… it happens.

  6. Froudie

    Did some digging…

    NOV 2000 NEWSLETTER

    Q: When Aenima came out, I remember seeing Tool on vinyl at the record store. Was the acid really THAT good, or did I really see all three TOOL albums on one or two pieces of vinyl?

    A: All were released on vinyl in America except for “BETHLEHEM ABORTION CLINIC” which was only released on vinyl in Europe and never released in CD format anywhere. See catalogue in import release of Aenima CD for details. That reminds me, someone recently (I think it was Staci) found a copy of Undertow on vinyl and said it contained “The Lord’s Prayer” inscribed in the dead wax. If so, I didn’t know that.

    DEC 2001 NEWSLETTER

    Q: I’ve heard that there are several Tool CDs that were released in Europe, but not in America. Is this true, and if so, how can I order them?

    A: It is true. In the insert in the European version of Aenima there is a catalogue which lists these CDs. They include: “Three Fat Brown Fingers”, “Nurse Ketimella’s Kit* Chen”, “Just Up That Dirt Road (Tool Live at the Acropolis)”, “The Bethlehem Abortion Clinic”, “Crapsteaks smothered in Dictators” and “The Christmas Album by Tool.” Someday I will tell you what makes ONE of these cds so special – something the band members don’t want anyone to know – though it’s there for discerning listeners. Perhaps I’ve said too much already.

    * No Creed records were purchased by band members in order to experiment with playing them backwards.

    OCT 2002 NEWSLETTER

    Also, there was the thing about the mathematical formula encoded in the insert catalogue on the European issue of Aenima. Fortunately, nobody’s figured that one out yet.

    21st SEP 2006 NEWS POST

    Here’s what some are saying about LUSTMORD: RISING (LIVE 06.06.06): “Possibly the ‘darkest’ recording since Tool’s Bethlehem Abortion Clinc (12134-66649-4).”

    17th NOV 2006 NEWS POST

    Better yet, maybe do something off of “Crapsteaks Smothered in Dictators”, or “Nurse Ketimella’s Kit*Chen”, or “Bethlehem Abortion Clinic” or how about an early version of “Pushit” from “Just Up That Dirt Road: TOOL LIVE! at the Acropolis.” Let’s see them try that while the band isn’t looking!

    DEC 2007 NEWSLETTER

    ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION
    (from “Bethlehem Abortion Clinic”)

    JAN 2008 NEWSLETTER

    My inclusion of the song “Abomination of Desolation” from the Tool album “Bethlehem Abortion Clinic” (listed in the catalogue/insert of the release of Aenima outside the United States) seemed to further this (erroneous) notion. Tool albums that might or might not exist on parallel earths aside, what a social experiment that title turned out to be, with nearly everyone believing it to contain a negative Xian message when it could just as easily be something to the contrary (yes, including being an anti-abortion statement).

    MAR 2011 NEWSLETTER

    Which brings us to the “holy grail” that I mentioned earlier. No, it’s not a cheap guitar signed hastily backstage by all four band members as part of some radio promo. It also doesn’t concern bizarre video props or some Xeroxed set-list that includes “The Grudge”, and which is also signed by Maynard (most likely fabricated). It’s not even the lyrics to a popular Tool song hand written on a Ralph’s grocery bag. No, this is something REALLY special. Are you ready? Suppose I was to tell you that there is a Tool song – recorded in a studio – that hasn’t been heard except for by a handful of people, and that virtually no one outside of the band (and a few others) is aware of its very existence? Keep in mind, this is not a cover (not the rumored “Crazy Train”), nor is it a glorified segue that never made it onto a record. This is an original full-blown Tool song complete with vocals and lyrics. The title of this tune is “Problem 8 (The Riemann Hypothesis)”, and it was recorded many years ago – so long ago, in fact, that I don’t remember who played bass, although I want to say it was Justin. The length is somewhere in the six-minute range (if my memory serves me correctly), but whatever it is, the exact time had something to do with the unsolved and mysterious nature of the title. Now, not only was the song professionally recorded; it was actually ‘issued’ in a manufactured medium (though I’m not going to say whether this was vinyl, a CD, or cassette tape). Because of the ingenious way it was made available to the public, “Problem 8” , in my opinion, constitutes the ultimate hidden track. Only, don’t go looking for it among your collection (most of you, that is!), as there are no more than 30 copies on the planet. As for those who have one, most, I’m sure, aren’t aware of it, even though it might be staring them right in the eye on a near daily basis. The reason they aren’t aware of it, is because they’d never think to play it. Okay, enough said…

    And though it’s not that rare, the European version of the Aenima CD SHOULD BE of interest to collectors. Not because the disc contains the Goetic sigil of Furfur, or that it includes an insert catalog of spurious “other albums available by Tool”, but because the spoof catalog contains in itself true information that might be of great interest to certain fans of the band.

    MAY 2012 NEWSLETTER

    “Aenima” was the first Tool project that I was asked to contribute something to, although this was merely a small part of the art design for the import, which I collaborated on with Shep’s talented girlfriend. (Or… was she merely his roommate?) Another thing about the “Aenima” recording that I remember, was a plan devised at the loft to create the ultimate hidden track. This was inspired by the whole Klaatu/Beatles thing, but the problem of actually pulling it off would take a lot more thought.

    30th JUN 2013 NEWS POST

    The Picture shown is the European Aenima Artwork with Bethlehem Abortion Clinic in the centre

    JULY 2013 NEWSLETTER

    1)Of the dozen or so spoof Tool CDs included in the spurious catalog in the insert contained in the import (i.e. European) version of Aenima, one of them is actually real (meaning that it at least includes jam sessions by the band and various other recorded material). Though having never been released to the general public, about 30 copies were surreptitiously placed in various record stores in European cities (most of them in Poland) by members of the band and their crew during a tour over there. TRUE OR FALSE?

    TRUE. But there is much more to this story – as I have been hinting at for years. Perhaps someday someone will finally figure it out, and before certain things become obsolete.

  7. Froudie

    I believe there is lots of evidence to suggest that Bethlehem Abortion Clinic and particularly it’s catalog number (12134-66649-4) are a vital clue to unlocking Problem 8 – The Riemann Hypothesis. Seeing as the Riemann Hypothesis is a mathematical concept, can this be related to the Bethlehem Abortion Clinic catalog number somehow?

  8. Froudie

    Further Ideas…

    Following up on the potential link between Cesaro Summation & the Riemann Hypothesis (both mathematical ideas). There was a picture disc made for the track Cesaro Summability…

    Quoted from
    http://www.worthpoint.com/worthopedia/tool-signed-autographed-cesaro-lp-vinyl-promo

    According to Craig Williamson, Tool’s promo manager in the early days, there are only 25 of this signed version in existence. This was distributed mainly to employees and those close to the band, where the regular unsigned versions (rumored to be limited to 5,000 or so) were distributed to radio stations and stores around the country to promote the release of Aenima roughly 12 years go.

    The next few bits are a bit more speculative…

    The catalog number for this item is ZP17666-1 (a repeat of the number 666 number also contained in the Bethlehem Abortion Clinic Catalog Number 12134-66649-4, with it’s obvious devil connotations)

    Cesaro Summability (the track) could be the soundtrack to an abortion being performed at the clinic?

    People who have possession of the Signed Cesaro Summability 12″ Picture Disc are unlikely to play it for fear of damaging their valuable memorabilia

  9. Froudie

    My Theory…

    1. Tool recorded a secret track…

    “Another thing about the “Aenima” recording that I remember, was a plan devised at the loft to create the ultimate hidden track.”

    2. They left a clue on Aenima…

    “Someday I will tell you what makes ONE of these cds so special – something the band members don’t want anyone to know – though it’s there for discerning listeners. Perhaps I’ve said too much already.”

    The discerning listener will hear the song Cesaro Summability (the soundtrack to an abortion) linking it with Bethlehem Abortion Clinic in the Import Liner Notes (perhaps there is something hidden in the ‘voices’ contained in the track as well )

    “Also, there was the thing about the mathematical formula encoded in the insert catalogue on the European issue of Aenima. Fortunately, nobody’s figured that one out yet.”

    By saying mathematical formula people assume that a calculation is required. The mathematical formula is in title only – Cesaro Summability and it is an alias for the title “Bethlehem Abortion Clinic” which is the actual title of track 12 on Aenima. It is decoded through listening to it and determining it’s meaning.

    “Aenima” was the first Tool project that I was asked to contribute something to, although this was merely a small part of the art design for the import, which I collaborated on with Shep’s talented girlfriend. (Or… was she merely his roommate?)”

    Blair helped with the artwork for the Import CD – the fake albums

    “Possibly the ‘darkest’ recording since Tool’s Bethlehem Abortion Clinic (12134-66649-4)”

    A soundtrack to an abortion is pretty dark?

    3. Tool produce a limited edition rare item – The signed Cesaro Picture Disc (25-30 copies) containing the secret material and place it in obscure places where they will be snapped up by people and not played for fear of damaging the value of the memorabilia…

    “Though having never been released to the general public, about 30 copies were surreptitiously placed in various record stores in European cities (most of them in Poland) by members of the band and their crew during a tour over there.”..

    “According to Craig Williamson, Tool’s promo manager in the early days, there are only 25 of this signed version in existence . This was distributed mainly to employees and those close to the band, where the regular unsigned versions (rumored to be limited to 5,000 or so) were distributed to radio stations and stores around the country to promote the release of Aenima roughly 12 years go.”

    “Because of the ingenious way it was made available to the public, “Problem 8” , in my opinion, constitutes the ultimate hidden track. Only, don’t go looking for it among your collection (most of you, that is!), as there are no more than 30 copies on the planet. As for those who have one, most, I’m sure, aren’t aware of it, even though it might be staring them right in the eye on a near daily basis. The reason they aren’t aware of it, is because they’d never think to play it. Okay, enough said…”

    4. Blair starts giving hints…

    “All were released on vinyl in America except for “BETHLEHEM ABORTION CLINIC” which was only released on vinyl in Europe and never released in CD format anywhere. See catalogue in import release of Aenima CD for details.”

    There is also a link in catalog numbers between the Cesaro Picture Disc and Bethlehem Abortion Clinic with both containing the devil’s number – 666

    5. Problem 8 – The Riemann Hypothesis

    “The title of this tune is “Problem 8 (The Riemann Hypothesis)”, and it was recorded many years ago – so long ago, in fact, that I don’t remember who played bass, although I want to say it was Justin. The length is somewhere in the six-minute range (if my memory serves me correctly), but whatever it is, the exact time had something to do with the unsolved and mysterious nature of the title. Now, not only was the song professionally recorded; it was actually ‘issued’ in a manufactured medium (though I’m not going to say whether this was vinyl, a CD, or cassette tape).”

    When the title was chosen for the hidden track it needed to be linked to the clue that was made available. By choosing another mathematical formula it is linked with the theory of Cesaro Summation. Problem 8 – The Riemann Hypothesis is an unsolved mathematical hypothesis, much like the unsolved hidden Tool track.

    If the Riemann Hypothesis is solved soon…

    “Perhaps someday someone will finally figure it out, and before certain things become obsolete.”

    The link between the unsolved maths formula and the ‘unsolved’ Tool track will be broken.

  10. RavenpigRavenpig

    While all this might be a tad too much, I agree that if it’s real it would be the ultimate hidden track. It’s so hidden we don’t even know if it’s real!

    And if Blair isn’t sure if it was Justin or Paul who played on it, why doesn’t someone just ask Paul about it on one of them social media sites that are all the rage nowadays? (I don’t have one)

  11. aenimal

    maybe problem 8 is literally encoded into the catalog insert itself….how big was the thing? what was it made of? maybe it’s playable like a small vinyl or something…

  12. thesheedspot

    i think ive finalyl deciphered the message: Problem+(Ei)gh(t)+Abortion Clin(ic)= Problematic

    Problematic can be broken down as follows: the solution to any problem comes at its end, therefore the solution to this problem is “atic” or “attic”

    They clearly put their most secretive track in everyone’s attic, the place where you find all great hidden treasures.

  13. cultiv8420

    Great research Froudie! Just a quick addition: I remember the March 2011 newsletter where he debuted the Problem 8 mystery publicly, there was a lot of speculation that the song was pressed on the vinyl copy when one of their albums went platinum, meaning, the “platinum record” to commemorate the sales had the song in it. On the 31 March, 2012 newspost, he posted a picture of one of these records hanging on a wall, along with a snippet from the March 2011 newsletter.

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