Blair has posted the February Tool newsletter, but this month is hidden away in the Newsletters section rather than posted on the main page. It doesn’t really contain much information, so here it is in full for you convenience!

Now that everyone has exchanged tokens of love and affection, and those hallmark e-cards, sushi hearts and power ballads are just a far distant memory (as are those pink marshmallows in her cocoa, and the terrible idea of that fuzzy Vermont Chupacabra), let’s see if there is any pressing Tool news. Ummmmmmm… Nope. Hang on, let’s check again just to be sure… Ummmmmmm… No. Not a lot, anyway.
If you’ve been reading my posts in the news section, you already know about the upcoming MINI-TOUR, including how to purchase VIP PACKS that come with enviable seats and other goodies, a concise description of which I listed in the informative January offering. As for the set-lists, no spoilers here! Also indelibly etched in your well-grooved cranial region is that PUSCIFER, APC, and FAILURE will be playing shows at the GREEK THEATER as part of Maynard’s 50th Birthday extravaganza. And if it’s a maple ham, corn and pineapple stuffed potato that you crave while listening to great ultra-fusion jazz on any given Monday night, you know where they’re baking.

So, what else?

Justin is back from his daring adventure involving the handling of a falcon… or a hawk… or a hawk-shaped military drone? Likewise, Danny has returned from Hawaii, where he is still trying to smuggle out enough curly koa wood to make a new drum (or nifty salad bowl, if I’m to believe an article in the current issue of VegNews magazine). And with Adam’s WWE wrestling buddies having exited the loft after an encore of golden hits – leaving the place no worse for wear, I might add – the fellows are back in the no picnic business of writing/arranging of new Tool material. So, if you saw Danny at Monday night’s Jayhawks game in Kansas, rest assure that this was his decoy-double getting in some much needed practice before the tour begins.

So, now that you are all caught up on any relevant Tool news (and you’ve come up with the brilliant idea to put cherry marshmallows in the hot Ghirardelli chocolate next year), if you are fortunate enough to be going to any of the upcoming Tool shows, have a great experience, but please remember to be respectful to the support act and courteous to fellow concert goers. Absolutely no laser pointers – be it Krypton, Inferno, or a Walmart “spot.” Also, no micro recorders, Creed hoodies, pocket shots and hopefully it goes without saying that ‘smiles’ is never a good idea whenever prog-metal with hypnotic visuals are involved!

“Extreme Couponing” is coming on, so I gotta go. Short month, short newsletter.

I hope all of you Americans and Mexicans are looking forward to the tour!