In our absence, Blair has posted the April 2016 Tool newsletter, which includes a censored section for you to decipher (if you are so inclined):

During a recent phone conversation with a certain band member, he told me the following: “Goddamn, I just ******* the *** **** ***** and it was pretty damn amazing! Of course, ** still has to **** **** of * *** ****** before ** **** ********, but what * *** was well ***** *** ****.”

In other news, I was told (again, by a band member) that *** ******** made **** a good *****, so it ***** **** **** *** ** playing the ************** on *******! Of course, this doesn’t take into consideration a grey goo scenario involving self-replicating nanobots, VY Canis Majoris going hypernova, or even the more likely stumbling block of anthropogenic global warming from too many advanced personal vaporizers (APVs) using propylene glycol, which is NOT the main ingredient in antifreeze. There is also some talk about **** *****, but nothing ** ****** ** and, ***** *******at this time. So, keep your toes crossed.

NEWS FLASH!
Word has it that the ***** for another **** song has been ******** at the ****, and that the fellows are off to a good ***** on ******* one. So, there you **** it.

Possible interpretations so far include finished tracks, completed videos and confirmed shows, or possibly all of the above. Time will tell I guess, though I hear with very good authority that the Voodoo Festival in New Orleans is all but confirmed.

New Orleans!
New Orleans!