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Tool August 2016 Newsletter

Hidden in the depths of Toolband is the Tool August 2016 Newsletter, and it covers since suggestion of a Tool course and a McDonalds Tray Liner featuring a Tool fan:

I had planned for this month’s newsletter to be about a new course offered by select colleges and universities that will certainly be of interest to many Tool enthusiasts. The class is entitled, “Introduction, Production & Interpretation of Music Videos By Tool”, and is described in the curriculum guide as being an accelerated course about the band’s critically acclaimed video concepts. Now, I’m not trying to be anyone’s academic adviser – no, not this underachiever, who barely graduated from Miskatonic U. (go Black Goats!) – but just wanted to mention the prescribed requirements, credit hours, and enrollment details. I was also going to include a short interview with Adam Jones about his feelings on the new course, and whether or not he was going to participate in any way, such as classroom lectures or demonstrations of the video process via Google Hangouts tutorials, etc.? However, just as I was about to start typing, my attention was directed to some unread Tool email that urgently needed to be addressed.

One of the messages had the subject heading of “Free Advertising”, while another read, “Tool and Mickey D’s.” All were from Tool fans letting me know about something that they noticed while eating at McDonald’s. This was an advertising photo on their tray liner that depicted a happy “I’m Lovin It” family of four with the father wearing a classic TOOL tee shirt. (Note: The shirt is called, “Phurba” and depicts a stylized Buddhist ritual implement, although, in the spirit of McZen – what with golden arches, Happy Meals and such – I don’t think any Buddhist monks will get too upset in being associated with what’s on the McDonald’s menu.) The link below will take you to a photo of the tray liner that was posted on the reddit website.

VIEW

As to my reply: I honestly didn’t know anything about the ‘Tool’ tray liner (After all, there’s an Inn ‘N Out close to where I live), and don’t know if anyone associated with the band is aware of it, or, for that matter, if they even give a McShit?

No, I didn’t know about the Mickey D’s thing, but, unless someone close to the band is pulling my leg, I did hear that another fast food chain – whatchamacallit – has purposed selling a special Danny Carey drumstick. Let me think… It isn’t Chick-Fil-A (of course!), and not Churchs Chicken either. Nor is it Popeyes, Roscoes, Pudgies, Chesters, Jollibee or Henny Penny. Oh, yeah – it’s Kentucky Fried Chicken (better known today as KFC, so as to keep your mind off of things like frying oil and trans fat). Again, if someone’s not yanking my chain, the D.C. signature drumsticks are going to be died purple (!), and imprinted with a fake grill mark in the form of a ‘charred’ unicursal hexagram. Evidently, KFC’s “World’s Largest Logo” advertising stunt – the gigantic visage of Colonel Cluck, himself, laid out in colorful tiles on the desert floor near Area 51, where it can be seen from outer space in satellite imagery – didn’t quite live up to the company’s expectations, and now they are looking for something even cooler.

(I know what you’re thinking: Too bad it wasn’t “Subway” that did this, with that Fogle guy’s face being seen from outer space, so that maybe the nasty greys would have come down and snatched him up – thinking that he was our leader.)

Cheese and crackers! Look at the clock. In keeping with my new policy of spending no more than 30 minutes on each newsletter (as long as I’m being paid in mcnuggets), my time is up.

HAPPY TRAILS

BLAIR
JUSTIN
DANNY
MAYNARD
ADAM

I don’t imagine there really is a Tool course happening, but Blair could be hinting at either the contents of a new video (perhaps featuring Opiate) or maybe the content of the VIP sessions on the upcoming tour.

Or it could be he’s referring to a few discoveries that Adam has posted on Instagram in the last week, below being an example:

~ uh…whoa. Found this in storage* In 1997 I sculpted this quick little maquette for our Ænema video during the pre-production’s conception stage. Original idea was to have a small female protagonist puppet that could have parts of her anatomy change or ‘open up’ to help represent a welcomed adaptation to (waist deep) catastrophe. Hidden bisecting arms that would fan out like two puzzle pieces from the normal anatomy. With a huge influence from Polish painter Zdzisław Beksiński (and MANY other talented mofo *chet *greg figel *etc..) she evolved into an semi-transparent androgynous creature with her genetic makeup harmonic with H2o. (*Sounded good at the time…😄🔫) • Into the production & after many weeks of constant stop motion back and forth movements the two fatigued identical puppets were beyond wear. The ball socket armature had broken in different places and were very difficult to use. Hence the few shots at the end of the actual vid where the bisected arms barely move. ~ Heard a rumor that there was a bit of a tool influence on General Grievous from Star Wars ep lll. If true I would die a happy man. ❤️~ad

A photo posted by Adam Jones (@adamjones_tv) on

New Caduceus Reds available to Aussie Wine Drinkers

Our buddies at Sip Wines hav announced that they have some of Maynard’s latest Caduceus Red wines now in stock, and to celebrate are having a sale:

The New 2013 Caduceus Reds have landed in Australia! To celebrate, we’ve taken $20 off the Merkin & Caduceus Pack. This pack includes the delicious 2013 Caduceus Nagual de la NAGA & the brand new 2015 Merkin Chupacabra GSM Red from all Arizona grapes.

Sadly there is no goon sack option, however you do get $20 off the bottled variety.  They’re expensive wines, so probably for enthusiasts or special occasions only.  Though I haven’t tried any of the newer wines, the ones I have tried in the past have been pretty good, so worth an order if you’ve got the money lying around.

String Theory – Justin Chancellor

Here’s a fantastic video from Ernie Ball where Justin Chancellor talks about Bass, Strings, Tool and life in general.  Well worth the watch!

Maynard adds more Book Tour dates

There’s a bunch more dates for Maynard James Keenan‘s book tour in November.  It’s not the kind of thing that happens very often, so I reckon you should check it out!

Several new dates have been added to Maynard’s A Perfect Union of Contrary Things including Portland, Seattle and San Francisco as well as second readings in Chicago and Washington, D.C. Tickets for all newly announced readings are on-sale this Friday, Aug. 5, with all but San Francisco on-sale at 10 am eastern (San Francisco on-sale is 12 noon pacific):

November 9 Nashville, TN City Winery SOLD OUT
November 11 New York, NY The New York Society for Ethical Culture
November 12 Washington, DC Sixth & I Historic Synagogue (7 pm reading) SOLD OUT
November 12 Washington, DC Sixth & I Historic Synagogue (10:30 pm reading)
November 14 Toronto, ON Convocation Hall (U of Toronto)
November 16 Chicago, IL Thalia Hall (7 pm reading) SOLD OUT
November 16 Chicago, IL Thalia Hall (10:30 pm reading)
November 18 Portland, OR Aladdin Theater
November 19 Seattle, WA Kane Auditorium
November 21 San Francisco, CA Herbst Theatre

A Perfect Union of Contrary Things comes out on November 8th

Tool July 2016 Newsletter

Sorry for the delay, but life’s been pretty busy the last few days! Anyway, the Tool July 2016 Newsletter is now out, and this time around Blair recounts a recent conversation he had with Danny Carey, giving us a few snippets of info on the progress of the new album:

While enjoying his “House Specialty” lasagna to the sounds of an excellent pianist (and master harpist, Mariano Gonzalez!), he added that they were very close to knocking out another tune, and that as soon as it was finished, they would send a recording of it to Maynard. When I asked if this was the song with the REALLY unique time signatures, he told me that they had already finished the music on that one. Okay, admittedly, not exactly stop the press news, but what can I say, other than that they are still grinding away on new material four days a week, and would be back at it later in the week (once Danny returned from the Las Vegas glitz, Justin from celebrating his wedding anniversary and Shelee’s birthday in palm-swaying Hawaii, and Adam hunting for glossy treasures at Comic-Com 2016 in San Diego).

And also:

The other question that I asked Danny concerned the fate of the broken vintage Pepsi machine from the loft – whether or not it had been repaired? Now, here was something that brought a quick response: Yes, he was determined to have it fixed, with or without the ‘original’ parts. Finally, what about the so-called “curveball”, to which he replied that he still wasn’t sure when it would be made available for public consumption, but that “It turned out dang good, though!”

Nothing too revealing, but good to at least hear of some kind of progress, and some suggestion that Maynard is now (or will soon be involved).

View post on imgur.com

#dumb

Maynard summed up the recent rumours quite eloquently:

Further Tool tickets added to October shows

A quick update from Toolband regarding some more tickets available for the Tool shows in October:

TOOL OCTOBER SHOWS UPDATE AND TICKET LINKS
Attention Tool enthusiasts: A limited number of tickets have been added for the TOOL SHOWS in OCTOBER, so don’t miss your chance to experience the band’s exceptional musicianship and unrivaled stage visuals.
TICKET LINKS:
10/22 – Sacramento:
http://fgtix.to/1UiYWQW
10/24 – SLC: http://www7.ticketingcentral.com/V2/Quantity.aspx

10/26 – Denver:
http://www.altitudetickets.com/event/tool-6361/
10/28 – Little Rock: http://www.ticketmaster.com/event/1B0050C4940D1352
10/29 – New Orleans: http://voodoofest.co/24ld9Sv

I haven’t checked to see what is actually still on sale, so your mileage may vary!  Happy hunting!

Maynard James Keenan Book Tour

Maynard James Keenan will be heading out on a brief Book Tour in November to celebrate the release of his authorised biography A Perfect Union of Contrary Things.  Confirmed so far are dates in Nashville and Chicago with more to come:

  • Wednesday November 9 Nashville City Winery
  • Tuesday November 15 Thalia Hall, Chicago

On the night Maynard will read from and discuss the biography and will take part in a live Q&A session.  Get your where is the new Tool album? questions/complaints ready!

Tickets for these two shows go on sale this Friday.  Ticket includes a copy of the book!

In case you’d forgotten, the book comes out on November 8th via Backbeat Books and will feature a foreword by Tool buddy Alex Grey.

BBC Puscifer in Session

Some of you may remember a few photos posted on social media while Puscifer were in the UK showing them recording for the BBC.  Well it looks like that recording will be broadcast tomorrow:

Dan has an exclusive Rockest Record from Biffy Clyro and Puscifer in session, with Maynard from the band chatting to Dan!

BBC recordings are usually pretty good, should this should be worth a listen!

June 2016 Tool Newsletter

The June 2016 Tool Newsletter has been released, and for those who want to get straight to the point it contains no obvious significant Tool update.  Instead it recounts a recent trip to Death Valley for a cover photo for a forthcoming Danny Carey book.

Here’s the Tool bit:

“What about the newsletter?
I have to get back home to post the Tool Newsletter.”

Having climbed out of the idling pickup, my friend examined my tire rock placement and then gauged the distance to the edge of the steep drop off. After which, he patted me on my back before jumping back into the Ford, shouting out the window:

“Everyone knows that the band is still working on their new record, and that there’s really no other major news other than that.”

“No, you’re wrong. There are certain things that people need to know about. Things that finally need to be revealed – concerning the new record and other band related matters. Things that I’ve been holding back… for years… because I felt that I had to, but now it’s time to make them public. Only, we’re stuck in this desert hellhole… up to our lug nuts in burning sand…”

Maybe the next newsletter will be more revealing, though I feel like we’ve heard that before a few times!

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