Tool Lives!

Update: Turns out it was all just a misunderstanding – Adam, Justin and Danny will be joining Tool after all! In other foolish news, it appears King Buzzo is the winner of the first Opiate Reissue “Seal of Xatanitos”:

Winnar!

In breaking news just at hand:

Frontier Touring are disappointed to announce that Tool will no longer be playing shows in Australia this April/May however are equally pleased to announce that they will be replaced on tour by TOOL LIVES!

Singer Maynard James Keenan will be joined on stage by bass player Matt McJunkins, Drummer Jeff Friedl and guitar player Mark Tremonti as they play all the Tool hits in a unique in-the-round experience.

“This has been a long time coming,” announces Keenan. “Danny, Adam and Justin are hard at work on the new Tool album, and rather than disrupting their work schedule, I thought it would be in the best interests of the band to continue the tour without them. I’ve been touring with Mat and Jeff for a while now, so it seemed only natural to ask them to join the band. I’ve been a fan of Mark since his early days with Creed, and look forward to collaborating with him on this tour.”

Drummer Jeff Friedl is aware of the big shoes he has to fill: “Danny Carey is an amazing drummer!” he exclaims “It’ll be a challenge nailing his double kick parts, but I’m sure I’ll get there.”

Mark Tremonti gives us a taste of the setlist: “Maynard would like us to lay down some covers. He made a list for us and I was happy to see Imagine and a bunch of other of my favorite 70s protest songs that we’ll spin during each show.”

We are also pleased to announced that there will be a wine tasting for VIP ticket holders prior to each Australian show. Each ticket, valued at $500 comes with a free plastic wine glass, a novelty shopping bag, and a pair of socks recently worn by members of the band. “There isn’t much to do on the long flights in cattle class,” explains McJunkins “so we’ll each be wearing a bunch of different socks as a special gift for the fans.” Glasses of Caduceus wine may be purchased for $30 each.

I’ve contacted Blair for confirmation on this and will let you know what I hear…

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lipanconjuring
lipanconjuring
7 years ago

Seems legit

Davvda
Davvda
7 years ago

What. The. Fuck?

insertcrypticnameher
insertcrypticnameher
7 years ago

1. fuel the lawyers

2. Paul D., grab your meth and your shotgun and I’ll contact SWAT

madson4562
madson4562
7 years ago

Only thing that could make this news any better is if they also announced that David Draiman and Dave Matthews were going to provide guest vocals on Pushit and Maynard’s Dick. Also, according to an e-mail I got earlier today, it looks like the Opiate re-release is shipping 5 weeks ahead of schedule. And that’s no joke.

NickTheGC
NickTheGC
7 years ago

An obvious April Fools joke. Hahaha

ziggy23
ziggy23
7 years ago

1st april, bitches)

jun2san
jun2san
7 years ago

I love that you guys are carrying on with toolshed.down.net’s yearly tradition!

mattw
mattw
7 years ago

^I’m just disappointed there wasn’t an opportunity for a Creed-army ticket presale. My membership money is going to waste…

RightIn46and2
RightIn46and2
7 years ago

I was like daffffu? then i saw the date and fell back alsleep

24lateralus
24lateralus
7 years ago

Rad! It’s about time we get Matt and Jeff in the band! We finally have Aperfectoolscifer!! How gay.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
7 years ago

I was also going to say something about Buzzo! Did he seriously get the golden ticket or is that an April Fool’s joke? HAHAHA! Wouldn’t that be truly fucking hilarious if Maynard just ditched the other three and took another band on tour for TOOL live. People would shit sreaming babies… Saw Coal Chamber and Sevendust last night. The other bands that played with them were Lacuna Coil who I’d never fucking heard (wasn’t impressed) and then some other Red Crayon or Red Candlelight or some shit like that. Talk about a throwback show with Coal Chamber and Sevendust though…… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
7 years ago

HAHAHA! I love these funny cats… hilarious! I do remember Trent busting that shit out lol.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
7 years ago

I’ll assume the fire at the loft was real. I hope Justin’s most precious of bass guitars was not destroyed. That’s a harsh recovery there if it has been burned…. Luckily Wal has made him several copies still yet, there’s nothing like the original.

bob
bob
7 years ago

oh man! wtf is this? i cant believe it! but it must be true….. NEWBIES! 🙂

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
7 years ago

Awesome picture!
@Calfium Jay No joke I saw Coal Chamber and Sevendust last night. I know it’s oldschool but for $20 I couldn’t pass it up. Not really into either band anymore but maybe 13 years ago I would have spent alot of money to see Sevendust live. Second time seeing Coal Chamber the first time was at a festival… Meh… memories…

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
7 years ago

The details of the fire were not significant enough to matter therefore I don’t think it’s an attempt at an April Fools’ joke… Some of Justin’s basses got burned… danny’s practice set got soot on it… A hard drive with a PART of a song (which is no doubt etched into their brains anyways) got destroyed… not earth shattering information at all… super believeable and if it’s not true then WOAH… joke’s on me… NOT! I do think that Buzzo finding a golden ticket was totally a hoax though. If he did get the golden ticket then WOW TOOL! way… Read more »