Skip to content

Tool June 2014 Newsletter – Mercury Retrogade

Blair has posted the June 2014 Tool Newsletter on Toolband this morning, and it’s a reasonably short one. It doesn’t really hint at much, except for that Tool continue to work on new material:

MERCURY RETROGRADE

Be prepared for lots of problems as MERCURY GOES RETROGRADE UNTIL… JULY 1. So, if your cell phone call drops out in the canyon… If your order from the shopping bazaar is the wrong shirt size… If your Bic won’t spark that blunt after only 2,999 flicks… If your VHS tape of “The Eighteen Year Old SchoolGirls” suddenly has a faulty end-of-tape detection mechanism… If the Cheetos nubs in the bag are smaller than usual… If your car battery goes dead (and there’s no alien spaceship that sounds like a broken lawnmower nearby)… If they get your order wrong at the Jack-In-The-Box drive-thru… If your cochlear neural interface implant goes on the fritz… If the commercials are louder than the television show that your watching… If you get bitten by a black widow spider after falling onto the floor after being hit between the eyes by popped champagne cork… YOU NOW KNOW WHAT TO BLAME.

Also, if you are currently working on ANY creative project, you should probably stop until after July 1… Unless, of course, you are in a band called TOOL, and busy working on material for a new record. If this is the case, back up your hard drive… and go with the flow!

SLIART YPPAH

Not sure if this suggests something is happening on July 1st, or if Tool are on a break until then (hopefully not). Not sure if the Happy Trails backwards at the end means something. Either way, have a good June!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
70 Comments
Oldest
Newest Most Voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
bob
bob
8 years ago

it doesnt mean anything as usual. other then July 1st is Canada day 🙂 thats all it means! and that they are writing thru June..says so at the end, maybe u missed it.

adoxnz
adoxnz
8 years ago

the subtle oddities to try and trick you into looking for meaning knowing full well that rarely he might hide stuff amongst cryptic trivia… backward words at the end etc. blair pisses me off, but then it seems like he means to which pisses me off even more – this continues fractally.

what is the mercury thing in reference to? july 1 is a specific date which could easily be a red herring

ashwattha
ashwattha
Member
8 years ago

Backwards happy trails I assume is just playing on the retrograde: apparent backwards motion.

bob
bob
8 years ago

Mercury Retrograde is a thing he has mentioned throughout the years quite often actually. just google it for a better explantation but its something to do with the way the orbit of mercury is relevant to us or something. and it basically is like going backwards and people in astrology say its a weird time and funny things can happen cause the flow is not normal or something. like i said..google it up but thats why he mentioned things not working right and prob why he put happy trails backwards..just cause of the retrograde thing. have no fear…the newsletter is… Read more »

doors
doors
8 years ago

I have a feeling that this might be a double album. Danny mentioned that they wanted to make their take on ‘The Wall’. 8 years and going to write a single record sounds a bit suss. Here’s hoping anyway.

Maynerd
Maynerd
Reply to  doors
8 years ago

Let’s get a bit of activity on these threads! I want everyone who reads this thread to weigh in on how much money they think Blair gets paid for each newsletter (if anything). I’ve got $30 a month down on the table.

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

$30 a month? Ha ha ha. More like $300.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Double album has been my suspicion from the beginning. It’s been more than double the longest time it’s taken them to write a single album. Maybe weird things happening would mean that they are in fact writing a double album. Too obvious? Maybe… As for Blair’s pay… dude gets paid in tacos.

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Double album or some kind of movie accompanying a single disc or track. Remember when Blair posted that production still from something Adam was working on? That sure didn’t look like CGI, and given the length between videos, something a bit longer may be in the works.

Blair’s tacos come with potatoes o’le and a Pepsi.

bob
bob
8 years ago

i wouldnt count on a double album. dont most bands try to avoid double albums for various reasons? not saying thats the only reason why they wouldnt. of course not! but still. i gotta be honest too. Aenima and Lateralus were their best albums. 10k not so much. every band has their peak. just sayin”

TOOL_Rules
TOOL_Rules
Reply to  bob
8 years ago

I like your thinking doors and zwere! I agree with bob that we can’t count on it but we all agree that enough time has passed, along with Adam’s confirmation of having piles and piles of “sections” of songs (i.e. “a LOT of material”), that it could happen by the time it ever gets here. If that is the case we’re looking at 2016 at the earliest. I could wait until then for a dual disc. Hell, we’re likely going to be waiting that long for whatever they produce anyway. Just can’t agree with bob that they’ve peaked. But then… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Single album with an accompanying video is a second thought for me. But a very close one with relation to a double album. “Most” bands try to avoid double albums early in their career because it’s alot of money to create them and if you aren’t well known then you’re going to have a hard time selling it… That said… this is TOOL… if we get a double album out of TOOL we’ll all be good for another 30 years without anything new from them. If we get an album with a movie… I don’t even know what to think… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Oh for the record… CHIPOTLE TOBASCO… best ever.

bob
bob
8 years ago

Amen to Zwerewolf !! 🙂 10k was like a half album to me. it just doesnt cut it as a full solid Tool album. it sounds like they repeated themselves to me in certain parts but at the same time the music was pretty crazy in other areas and they did step up the complication thing but as songs its not as solid or as tight as Aenima or Lateralus. i think Lateralus was they best they ever meshed. just listen to every song on that album! they all fit together so nicely! as a band they really got that… Read more »

bob
bob
8 years ago

i make my own hot sauce from my garden! id like to stick some of my heat into Blairs newsletters! take that biitch! hahah 😉

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Legend has it that when the two first met, Blair asked Danny if he could stick his burrito in Danny’s taco, hence the rumors (and justifiably so) that Blair gets paid in tacos.

Green Tobasco for the win, always take great pleasure in stealing a bottle when eating at Chipotle.

Maybe a full album on a single disc w/ a 30-minute song on the second disc? Might take a year or two to figure all them drum fills out on a 30-minute song.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  ahlaphus
8 years ago

I have green and chipotle Tobasco in my cabinet as we speak. I alternate… and when I get tired of Tobasco… it’s all Tapatio.

Since we’re speculating here, how about a full album with a DVD that has a video for every song… seamlessly moving from one to another… Too much like The Wall? Yeah probably… But hey a guy can dream.

JohnnyUtah
JohnnyUtah
8 years ago

I think in a perfect world I would take a double album over a DVD with a video for every song, but I would gladly take either and be happy. 8 + years is too long to wait for a single album, with some nice artwork IMO

This sauce, FTW http://www.amazon.com/Jardines-Sontava-Habanero-Hot-Sauce/dp/B008Y2PXGW

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

If Adam for some reason went to much of the film being shot in live-action, don’t really see why a Wall type of concept wouldn’t fly. Just can’t imagine how in the world (after eight years or whatever it’s been) that the four of these jokers wouldn’t pull out all the stops on this one, SOOOOOO much downtime to come up with ideas nobody in music (or film) has come up with or done before. Praying for Jebus, praying for something that will top Rosetta, and praying Blair stops eating them alcohol-infused barbacoa tacos so that he has a moment… Read more »

JohnnyUtah
JohnnyUtah
8 years ago

With that said, I think we are going to get an single album along with a movie. I believe T00L has wanted to do something like that for a long time, and I would imagine that’s what some of the wait has been about. Exciting times, these next few months.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  JohnnyUtah
8 years ago

Certainly the next few months. Once harvest season comes up Maynard will be tied up and we need progress before then. He needs to buy his 100 pack of pilot precision pens and legal pads and take his solo trip to the middle of the desert in his truck with the new tunes so he can get working. We need the other 3 jokers to step up their game. We’ve been teased for so long… Once Maynard gets his chance to stake a claim things will speed up dramatically. A profound impact this music has had on all of us… Read more »

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Here we are having wet dreams allover our keyboards about what they may release. What if one of them visits this site and realizes… Hey! Goddamnit! We gotta get to work! Our fans are getting mighty ticked off! Oh, wait, they treat their fans like Oprah treats a chocolate cake.

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Zwerewolf – Don’t mean to patronize you in any way in regards to your band and your supposed writer’s block, but have you tried the dark room approach? Kinda like Tool’s loft and what Phish has said they do… Just kinda jam out in a dark room with little lighting, letting the music flow instead what the eyes think they see is flowing. Make sense? Used to work for our band(s) in high school, we’d kinda ‘get out there’ while jamming, made for interesting time signatures and such. And that disco ball, oh the disco ball.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  ahlaphus
8 years ago

Oh we’re not having writers block. We actually do turn off all the lights when we write/practice except for a strand of white LED’s that wrap around the mic stand. The only other light we have is a dimmed down monitor because we record everything we do when in our space. We’ve actually only been together 3 months and have a second show coming up July 25th, we’re working on booking more and have promoters that are also referring venues in our direction. The point I was trying to make is, alot of bands sound the same as others and… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

I should add… bands having influenced sound does not turn me off at all. Influences are good to have but say you have a show coming up and of course the venue wants to book you with “like sounding” bands right? All too often do I go to these shows and were it not for my vision and a gap between sets, I would not be able to tell a difference between most or all of the bands that played that night…

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Oh, sorry about the mix-up, and best of luck in your future ventures, sounds like you’re well on your way. Fan of Trailer Park Boyz? There’s an episode where Ricky kidnaps the guitarist from Rush. Just an idea, should you ever need the guitarist from Rush, of course.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Never saw trailer park boys but I’m down to kidnap some high profile band members. I’m actually really super impressed with the members of TV On the Radio after seeing them at Bottlerock festival recently. Although, The Cure played after them so I’m doubly down to kidnap Robert Smith or Simon Gallup… Throw them in a white panel van… no not white panel that’s too rape-ish… a Lincoln Town Car… CLASS GENTLEMEN!!! Class.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Oh and thanks for the positive energy. We want to play shows so we need alot of positive energy. The more people we play in front of the more fun it becomes.

adoxnz
adoxnz
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

sounds like you’ve got an awesome attitude about it and if you’re getting encores you’re creating the positive energy for yourselves. well done 🙂

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  adoxnz
8 years ago

Thank you so much! We’re trying hard to keep that positive energy up, it’s alot of work. Our next show is with a bunch of bands that are touring together and we are going to be way out of place. Should be fun! 🙂 The bands are Straight Line Stitch, Dedvolt, Cage9 & Dead Horse Trauma……….. The people that are following us are not going to expect us to play with bands like these guys and the people that are there to see those bands are not going to expect us to be up there either… Can’t wait. I love… Read more »

BellJH
BellJH
Member
8 years ago

6 or 7 actual songs, 3-4 filler tracks

No video

May 2015

elusivEuphoria
elusivEuphoria
Reply to  BellJH
8 years ago

This is the only comment I’ve read so far that makes sense.

bob
bob
Reply to  BellJH
8 years ago

honestly i buy more into that then a double album or album with a longform video etc etc! they always take their time. their getting older. Adam got married and has a kid now. i think a live dvd is in order but i thought years ago once they call it quits stuff like that will probably come out. hard to say but its just ideas ive had.

nxrm
nxrm
Reply to  BellJH
8 years ago

– May 2015? It’s possible, but they’d likely have to start recording very soon. I believe the August 2005 Newsletter is the first indication of 10,000 Days being recorded. I think 2016 is more likely.

BellJH
BellJH
Member
Reply to  nxrm
8 years ago

I’m hoping they hit the studio by September for a late spring/summer 2015 release

Which is bad enough as it is

…2016 is just obscene

tiresias
tiresias
Member
8 years ago

I was under the impression that the guys had a lot of work done, but then they lost a data backup of music (in a fire?) and were set back on the recording process? Wasn’t there a reference to that somewhere? Does that explain Blair’s message about backing up data in the new newsletter? Was the old incident during Mercury’s retrograde?

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  tiresias
8 years ago

I think the fire was an early April Fool’s thing. If I recall, they played off the time zone from down under and considered it April 1st which of course threw us ‘Mericans off…. I could be wrong but I think that was a hoax?

adoxnz
adoxnz
8 years ago

I would be kind of surprised if the only copies of it they have are at the loft (seems possible some kind of network/cloud thing would be used) – was wondering why they would really need backups at all being such amazing musos, seems like they would remember their parts… then i remember how pedantic they are about going down every last little variant/key change/sig change… coming back to review all the options in different headspaces… when i think about their process and the music they have already written it really puts me in my place in terms of being… Read more »

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

elusivEuphoria is a bit of a Negative Nancy. What doesn’t make sense about the other ideas? Can’t wrap your head around a video or movie accompanying the album? How about a free pair of titanium chopsticks with the album? Only way to open the packaging is to insert the chopsticks into some magical keyhole or something. Does that make sense? Makes sense to me seemings how they’re working on a double album.

elusivEuphoria
elusivEuphoria
Reply to  ahlaphus
8 years ago

What doesn’t make sense to me is an explosion of speculation from a newsletter that basically says, Mercury is in retrograde, Tool is still working on their album. I can imagine Tool doing a lot of things that would be interesting. Like a double album, or a band movie. But I don’t think their track record gives any real credence to those possibilities. I find it much more likely that they are eventually going to release a full length LP that they feel is the best possible piece they can create. The extra time is purely to ensure that they… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Ah…. speculation is a wondrous thing… it’s all we have at this point really. I’m going all out with my next speculative theory… I’m going for double album with a bonus movie co-produced by David Lynch with artwork from guest artist Chet Zar. They’ll sell it for $150 each and only make 40,000 copies. Once the 40,000 sell out they encourage stealing it via file sharing. 1,000 of the 40,000 copies will have a poster included. On this poster each member will have traced their flaccid penis and inscribed their signature within the outline of said flaccid penis. These limited… Read more »

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Everything you mention could come true, except for the limp pecker part, pretty sure Danny mentioned he’d never trace his pecker again after accident number three occurred. Getting lead in the pencil adds new meaning to having “lead in your pencil”.

bob
bob
8 years ago

oh ya right! they lost data in a fire..isnt that old news anyway? like a band like them wouldnt have that stuff backed up in more then one area! they prob all have copies. its their job and some stuff if it was ever lost could prob never be duplicated again. they have more then one copy im sure…thats just silly!

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  bob
8 years ago

I’m pretty sure that was an April Fool’s joke. It was April first in Australia when that got posted to Toolband.com. I’m sure they carry portable hard drives with them so they can take music home to have a listen . They most certainly have multiple backups… with cloud storage available that would make sense. I don’t think lost music is an issue with them.

UndKeineEier
Member
8 years ago

I recall something about the firefighters stepping in and jamming with Tool and so they were able to replace the missing music. Pretty sure that’s what happened.

Maynerd
Maynerd
8 years ago

Over the last few months on posts relating to newsletters and progress on album writing I’ve been saying it’s all dependant on May/June/July/August for recording. The Maynard wine thing is huge for deadlines as we should all understand now. I get that very sinking feeling that we are done for this year in terms of a release. It is just such an endless shame about how slow this process has taken. Logically we could have expected a new album, be it double or single back in 2012. You have to take a moment to really let it sink in how… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  Maynerd
8 years ago

Life
Comfort
Marriage
Divorce
Children
Other Interests
Distance
Time
Injuries… the list could go on… I’m just happy they haven’t thrown in the towel.

blapask
blapask
8 years ago

Zwerewolf, what’s your band’s name? I’m also in Sacto, just curious.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  blapask
8 years ago

@blapask, My bands name is Outlined and we have been together for a little over 3 months. We’re playing at Boardwalk Friday July 25th and tix are $12 if you’d like to come check us out. There are a bunch of other bands playing that night and we’re pretty mismatched in comparison. The bands that are playing are Straight Line Stitch, Dedvolt, Cage9 and Dead Horse Trauma (they’re all touring together right now & I’ve never heard of any of them). We have a soundcloud but our recordings are just home recordings of practice sessions (the best ones we could… Read more »

adoxnz
adoxnz
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

feel free to throw any recordings my way if you want some help with mastering Zwerewolf… adoxnz@gmail.com… 😉

Maynerd
Maynerd
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

Good god. That was really bad. I’m sorry for you and the small audience.

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Two onions on the grill, two discs on the bill.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  ahlaphus
8 years ago

What a pleasant thought… I had that same thought but then I felt like I sometimes read into Blair’s posts too much. Maybe the post is just about food… but then maybe it isn’t.

I’m still keeping to my theory of a double album.

DRURY
DRURY
8 years ago

I think a double album is possible…..this could be the last Tool album, so they’ll probably want to do as much music as they can on their way out.

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  DRURY
8 years ago

My thoughts exactly. We’re all holding our breath and have our fingers crossed in hope of magnificence.

budsyralli
budsyralli
Member
8 years ago

what does TOOL have in their contract? just 1 album left?

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
8 years ago

Yup, and why not go out with a bang?

lettherabbitswearglasses
lettherabbitswearglasses
8 years ago

I have said for a long time (since 2008) that this would be their last album, if it ever makes it here. Maynard has so much going on…music, new baby, grapes, wine, puscifer, etc. I, honestly, hope that they never quit but we have to be real. Having said that, I absolutely cannot wait for the next album. Hopefully it’s going to be a double.

M.M.M.
M.M.M.
8 years ago

What is this mercury retrograde crap? Astrology? Magic and demons? Alchemy? Ok maybe this stuff was cool to me when I was like 16. Many years laters it just seems goofy. I love tool for their music, but they haven’t put any out in over a decade. I’m sick of reading about aliens and aliester crowley. I think that stuff is a joke and I am surprised the members of tool would endorse such nonsense, let alone allow it to be proliferated throughout their newsletters and websites with such prominence. I meet some tool fans who eat this crap up,… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  M.M.M.
8 years ago

You’re obviously not the philosophical sort of open minded thinker so you probably need something a little more engineered and scientifically precise. How’s this? Don’t read Blair’s posts. Don’t read what we call speculation. If it is in-fact a redundant waste of webspace, which I’ve yet to see proven, I say you should quit wasting your time worrying about any of it and move along. As for the TOOL fans that “read into Blair’s posts”… we’re merely speculating that he could be hinting at certain things as he most certainly has done in the past. No, not every post has… Read more »

M.M.M.
M.M.M.
Reply to  Z-Werewolf
8 years ago

I am plenty open minded and philosophical. Superstitious though? No. And I wouldn’t so much as call it “lore”, as I would say it’s bullshit. I don’t think tool is necessarily obsessed but perhaps that they use this stuff as a gimmick. That is my own speculation. Also, if they really believe in it then that is kind of sad. Grown men believing in angels and magic powers… I am not sure what is open minded and original about that. Those ideas are actually really old and antiquated in my mind. Personally I think it’s a bit irresponsible to promote… Read more »

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  M.M.M.
8 years ago

I’ll call that a worthy retort (no sarcasm intended). However, I don’t give a fuck what any of them believe in to be honest… Their music is permanently implanted into my brain and it can never be taken from me so long as I retain my memory. To be able to touch on emotions with sound is a beautiful super talent and I really appreciate them. Ultimately I think their message is positive when you set any obscurity aside. Don’t let Blair’s postings deter you from enjoying the band. I think part of what Blair does is for comic relief…… Read more »

children
children
Reply to  M.M.M.
8 years ago

TOOL are mysterious because that is how they reflect their perception of the world

The universe is filled with wonder and TOOL express that curiosity and explore the unknown through their art

If you don’t agree that the world is mysterious then you are just as delusional as any other TOOL fan

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
Reply to  children
8 years ago

High five! 🙂

Gstring
Gstring
8 years ago

OK…
Retrograde is an optical illusion.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apparent_retrograde_motion

This means nothing other than Tool are continuing writing stuff OR that its been put on hold for the time being. It wouldn’t surprise me to find the new release is out in 2015.

GettinDown
GettinDown
Reply to  Gstring
8 years ago

The album is not coming out this year and with harvesting season coming up for Majiji I’d be surprised if we got it in the first half of next year.

UndKeineEier
Member
8 years ago

What’s wrong with Harry Potter?

NeckKick101
NeckKick101
7 years ago

New album will be called “Crying Shadows”. First single Tear/Drop.

Source: some dude on reddit

70
0
Please leave your insufferable comments belowx
()
x