Tool May 2019 Newsletter

Blair has released the latest issue of the Tool Newsletter today, dropping a couple of smallish hints for deciphering, but mostly reiterating how he came to be the Tool webmaster:

In the nineteen years of writing for my – er – I mean the band’s website, the hardest thing is knowing something that would constitute real band news – something positive to relay to eager fans – only being unable to post it for a variety of reasons due to the site’s official nature. I’m faced with the same dilemma today, but hopefully (keep your toes crossed) I can make an official announcement next month. Until then, in keeping with Adam’s “write about whatever you want” pep talk to me all those years ago, and knowing the guys probably have poor internet connections in Europe, there IS something that has been on my mind for a while now.

I think that most of us would agree that Crohn’s disease – a chronic disorder that causes inflammation in the digestive system – is nothing to joke about and any FDA-approved product that offers relief from the severity of the symptoms is to be applauded. With that said, from what I can hear, the band in the T.V. commercial for HUMIRA is really… really… really terrible (unless the studio track is entitled “TrainWreck.”).

https://toolband.com/news/2019/tool-newsletter-2/

Let’s hope Blair is able to communicate his news sooner rather than later, though personally I’m not expecting much more in the way of announcements until after the European tour winds up.

Speaking of which, the first date in Berlin is tomorrow night at the Mercedes Benz Arena. Wishing all the best to our Tool loving European comrades, for whom the tour drought is about to break!

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ahlaphus
ahlaphus
11 months ago

And here we are. I’ve been trying* to read BMB’s (purple) scribes from the beginning of this flat-out-four-flushing-turds-for-an-example of website upkeep, forthrightness, curve balls in limbo, ‘dinner with a coyote’ eatin’ sun ‘n beaches (sums of the britches/sons of bitches). In short, Problem 8 is here. Blair, we met once at the Palms casino/resort there in Vegas back in maybe 2007 or so, you mistook my name for “Brain” … signed … a concerned fan.

*blue Kat, gold(?) Maynard, purple BMD/Bowel Movement Day, Lilac/Honeysuckle Danny. Don’t much recall Adam or Justin posting. Been a fun ride!

casusinflamed
casusinflamed
11 months ago

Who added the picture (gateways, pillars) on this article? Seems like a clue to me.

Earthrocker
Earthrocker
11 months ago
Reply to  casusinflamed

It is the Brandenburg Gate

cultiv8420
cultiv8420
11 months ago

I think this is the Humira commercial he’s talking about. It’s pretty funny after reading the newsletter. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcoSzloYh14

bob
bob
11 months ago

aah, ive seen that commercial. so who gets the visual migraines then ? heavy health posts around tool stuff lately.

dslet
dslet
11 months ago

I think it means that one or more members had the shits and it’s what caused all the issues with actually recording the album (notice the woman can’t get the recording done in the studio because of this)…but now that the member(s) don’t have to shit at inconvenient times they’ve left the studio and are playing live.

dslet
dslet
11 months ago

Or perhaps it’s a veiled reference to how Maynard flew in for a couple days to shit…metaphorically…veiled swipes at Trump and some diatribes about awful modern society is, leaving the rest of the band to wonder if he was OK.

Undertowjones
Undertowjones
11 months ago

Is it possible for me to post pictures ? Bc I found info I feel most of you will be pretty excited about and seems very legit

mattw
mattw
11 months ago

By all means, post away…

gtprina
gtprina
11 months ago

I second that!…

nails
nails
11 months ago

At least tell us what the pics are of…

Undertowjones
Undertowjones
11 months ago

It was a one off post of what I believe to be completely legit description of album song titles packaging and art work and it looks and sounds fucking badass

Undertowjones
Undertowjones
11 months ago
Undertowjones
Undertowjones
11 months ago

Yes it was the chod deal from the Mexico tool fan page. Sounded very legit to me and I guess I’ve been had :/ sorry for getting all your hopes up Even lives how they did logo. Who the fuck sits around putting so much work into such a realistic fake … for what? You have an general idea u haven’t shared am I right hell boy?

presentense
presentense
11 months ago

A shame it’s been debunked. That tool key logo is awesome.
Super awesome.

gtprina
gtprina
11 months ago
Reply to  presentense

Agreed.

nails
nails
11 months ago

Day-o

Z-Werewolf
Z-Werewolf
11 months ago

We should be getting a pre-order notification soon shouldn’t we? I mean, they gotta be pressing vinyl and making shirts etc… There has to be some bundles coming out I would imagine…

Thoughts?

ahlaphus
ahlaphus
11 months ago
Reply to  Z-Werewolf

Hopefully what you mention is on par with Blair saying he has some info that’s ready to go to the presses, so-to-speak…

OD
OD
11 months ago

WordPress 5.2.2 is available

Maynerd
Maynerd
11 months ago
Reply to  OD

Seriously OD?
Worst post of all time.