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Calfium Jay
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Post by Calfium Jay »

The following is an re-enactment of Danny, Adam and Justin "hard at work on the new album" -

 

Danny: Dude...can you pass the bong?

<silence>

<silence>

Danny: Dude, the bong. Can you pass the bong?

Adam: What?? Whoah are you....talking to me?

Danny: Yeah.

Adam: Whoah. Yeah. Um...the bong.

Danny: Thanks.

Adam: Are the nachos all gone?

Justin: Yeah. But there are two burgers here still...if anyone wants one?

Adam: Yeah cool.

<silence>

<Danny takes hit from bong. Exhales>

Justin: Fuck these original Simpsons episodes are funny. Season Four and Five are unbeatable.

Danny: They so are.

<silence>

<silence>

 
Brendan
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Post by Brendan »

"Frontier Touring are disappointed to announce that Tool will no longer be playing shows in Australia this April/May..."

Made my heart skip a few beats
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N.Y.H.C.
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Post by N.Y.H.C. »

crow011 said
What a unique experience this will be. It'll be good to how how other musicians handle the songs, with the 'Nard still frontin'.

Have fun, guys! Also, that $30 per glass of wine is a bargain!


$30 a glass? what's in there? Mescaline and the blood of Christ?!

 
Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
spiralout462
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Post by spiralout462 »

crow011 said
I'm just glad that the 'Nard decided to continue with the tour. This is so typical of his devotion and appreciation of his fans.


 

teeeheee 
RightIn46and2
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Post by RightIn46and2 »

I was like daffffu? then i saw the date and fell back alsleep
bill462
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Post by bill462 »

I hope they play Floorpail on the tour.
Intension
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Post by Intension »

Thats fucking hilarious, just laughed my ass off. I really liked the plastic wine glass and used sock part! Some moron will undoubtedly eat that shit up as legit. Now i have to make my own plans to get someone today!

 
24lateralus
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Post by 24lateralus »

Rad! It's about time we get Matt and Jeff in the band! We finally have Aperfectoolscifer!! How gay.
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ilikecheese
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Post by ilikecheese »

Nice try HB
The above post is entertainment. It is most likely not directed at any individual unless specified. Any other interpretation, gleaning, or reckoning, of this post without the express, written, consent of Cheese, is strictly prohibited.
phox_
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Post by phox_ »

I wonder if those used socks are autographed...
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ziggy23
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Post by ziggy23 »



 2013 (08:30am) 

WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER!

Deke Rivers, an unemployed truck driver from Tennessee, proudly shows the prize winning 'golden ticket' ("Seal of Xatanitos") that he found inside his copy of the 21st anniversary release of Opiate. Congrats!
 
- You like noisy music?
- Yes. The louder the better. Stops me from thinking.
- You don't like to think? What do you like?
- Never thought about it.
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MOG
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Post by MOG »

^ You beat me too it I was just about to post that.  Props to Blair and Adam that one made me chuckle.  Although I somehow doubt Mr. Buzzo had to pay $150 for his copy
BellJH
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Post by BellJH »

I really hope the March newsletter is an April fool's....
Zwerewolf
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Post by Zwerewolf »

I was also going to say something about Buzzo! Did he seriously get the golden ticket or is that an April Fool's joke? HAHAHA!

Wouldn't that be truly fucking hilarious if Maynard just ditched the other three and took another band on tour for TOOL live. People would shit sreaming babies...

Saw Coal Chamber and Sevendust last night. The other bands that played with them were Lacuna Coil who I'd never fucking heard (wasn't impressed) and then some other Red Crayon or Red Candlelight or some shit like that. Talk about a throwback show with Coal Chamber and Sevendust though... they were pretty awesome!

Anyways, happy belated easter and happy April 1st!

-Z
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fortysixand2
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Post by fortysixand2 »

Zwerewolf
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Post by Zwerewolf »

HAHAHA! I love these funny cats... hilarious! I do remember Trent busting that shit out lol.
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Kittaan
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Post by Kittaan »

fortysixand2 said
Remember this gem: http://www.nin.com/pub/strobelight/


I definitely do, and you saved me having to dig it up.  I was just laughing about this with somebody outside of the Soundgarden show last month.  This was obviously a dig at Cornell and his ill advised solo expedition with TimbaBland.  Awesome.
Ki77aan :twisted:
jarid
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Post by jarid »

look in newsletters... march is up... fire at the loft!! new album material dammaged!! read read
jarid
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Post by jarid »

hahahahahaaha
Zwerewolf
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Post by Zwerewolf »

I'll assume the fire at the loft was real. I hope Justin's most precious of bass guitars was not destroyed. That's a harsh recovery there if it has been burned.... Luckily Wal has made him several copies still yet, there's nothing like the original.
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UndKeineZwEier
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Post by UndKeineZwEier »

Zwerewolf said
I'll assume the fire at the loft was real. I hope Justin's most precious of bass guitars was not destroyed. That's a harsh recovery there if it has been burned.... Luckily Wal has made him several copies still yet, there's nothing like the original.


I think I know what caused it.

 



 
Don't mow your lawn
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badkittygothgirl
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Post by badkittygothgirl »


Casey Tatum
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Post by Casey Tatum »

I think the fire is an April fool's prank. The giveaway is Danny's commercial for a new energy drink. The description is hilarious; it has to be a joke.
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bob
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Post by bob »

oh man! wtf is this? i cant believe it! but it must be true..... NEWBIES!
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N.Y.H.C.
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Post by N.Y.H.C. »

wow it's April 2nd for you guys already? you live in the future!!? what's tonight lotto numbers!!!???
Asteroids do not concern me, Admiral. I want that ship, not excuses.
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