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Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:28 am
by Calfium Jay
The following is an re-enactment of Danny, Adam and Justin "hard at work on the new album" -
Danny: Dude...can you pass the bong?
<silence>
<silence>
Danny: Dude, the bong. Can you pass the bong?
Adam: What?? Whoah are you....talking to me?
Danny: Yeah.
Adam: Whoah. Yeah. Um...the bong.
Danny: Thanks.
Adam: Are the nachos all gone?
Justin: Yeah. But there are two burgers here still...if anyone wants one?
Adam: Yeah cool.
<silence>
<Danny takes hit from bong. Exhales>
Justin: Fuck these original Simpsons episodes are funny. Season Four and Five are unbeatable.
Danny: They so are.
<silence>
<silence>
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:38 am
by Brendan
"Frontier Touring are disappointed to announce that Tool will no longer be playing shows in Australia this April/May..."
Made my heart skip a few beats
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 5:25 am
by N.Y.H.C.
crow011 said
What a unique experience this will be. It'll be good to how how other musicians handle the songs, with the 'Nard still frontin'.
Have fun, guys! Also, that $30 per glass of wine is a bargain!
$30 a glass? what's in there? Mescaline and the blood of Christ?!
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:05 am
by spiralout462
crow011 said
I'm just glad that the 'Nard decided to continue with the tour. This is so typical of his devotion and appreciation of his fans.
teeeheeeÂ
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:11 am
by RightIn46and2
I was like daffffu? then i saw the date and fell back alsleep
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 6:31 am
by bill462
I hope they play Floorpail on the tour.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:09 am
by Intension
Thats fucking hilarious, just laughed my ass off. I really liked the plastic wine glass and used sock part! Some moron will undoubtedly eat that shit up as legit. Now i have to make my own plans to get someone today!
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 7:11 am
by 24lateralus
Rad! It's about time we get Matt and Jeff in the band! We finally have Aperfectoolscifer!! How gay.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:27 am
by ilikecheese
Nice try HB
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:47 am
by phox_
I wonder if those used socks are autographed...
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:51 am
by ziggy23
 2013 (08:30am)Â
WE HAVE OUR FIRST WINNER!
Deke Rivers, an unemployed truck driver from Tennessee, proudly shows the prize winning 'golden ticket' ("Seal of Xatanitos") that he found inside his copy of the 21st anniversary release of Opiate. Congrats!
Â
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 8:55 am
by MOG
^ You beat me too it I was just about to post that. Props to Blair and Adam that one made me chuckle. Although I somehow doubt Mr. Buzzo had to pay $150 for his copy
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:30 am
by BellJH
I really hope the March newsletter is an April fool's....
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:40 am
by Zwerewolf
I was also going to say something about Buzzo! Did he seriously get the golden ticket or is that an April Fool's joke? HAHAHA!
Wouldn't that be truly fucking hilarious if Maynard just ditched the other three and took another band on tour for TOOL live. People would shit sreaming babies...
Saw Coal Chamber and Sevendust last night. The other bands that played with them were Lacuna Coil who I'd never fucking heard (wasn't impressed) and then some other Red Crayon or Red Candlelight or some shit like that. Talk about a throwback show with Coal Chamber and Sevendust though... they were pretty awesome!
Anyways, happy belated easter and happy April 1st!
-Z
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:28 am
by fortysixand2
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:32 am
by Zwerewolf
HAHAHA! I love these funny cats... hilarious! I do remember Trent busting that shit out lol.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 12:05 pm
by Kittaan
fortysixand2 said
Remember this gem:
http://www.nin.com/pub/strobelight/
I definitely do, and you saved me having to dig it up. Â I was just laughing about this with somebody outside of the Soundgarden show last month. Â This was obviously a dig at Cornell and his ill advised solo expedition with TimbaBland. Â Awesome.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:24 pm
by jarid
look in newsletters... march is up... fire at the loft!! new album material dammaged!! read read
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:32 pm
by jarid
hahahahahaaha
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:56 pm
by Zwerewolf
I'll assume the fire at the loft was real. I hope Justin's most precious of bass guitars was not destroyed. That's a harsh recovery there if it has been burned.... Luckily Wal has made him several copies still yet, there's nothing like the original.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:02 pm
by UndKeineZwEier
Zwerewolf said
I'll assume the fire at the loft was real. I hope Justin's most precious of bass guitars was not destroyed. That's a harsh recovery there if it has been burned.... Luckily Wal has made him several copies still yet, there's nothing like the original.
I think I know what caused it.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:38 pm
by badkittygothgirl
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:41 pm
by Casey Tatum
I think the fire is an April fool's prank. The giveaway is Danny's commercial for a new energy drink. The description is hilarious; it has to be a joke.
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:42 pm
by bob
oh man! wtf is this? i cant believe it! but it must be true..... NEWBIES!
Posted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 2:45 pm
by N.Y.H.C.
wow it's April 2nd for you guys already? you live in the future!!? what's tonight lotto numbers!!!???