F O U R T H E Y E

Bet on it. The whole Opiate 21st Anniversary reissue scenario just doesn't make sense. But there is a somewhat hazy pattern beginning to show through in light of recent conflicting announcements lately.  This is classic Tool fuckery, for those who have forgotten how they like to mislead the fans. I'm putting my money on the new album being released on the 26th with artwork by Adi Granov.

How much are you willing to bet?

snazzlefrass said
How much are you willing to bet?


Figure of speech, snazz. But it makes more sense than anything else I'm reading lately.

Hooker With A Penis said
Figure of speech, snazz. But it makes more sense than anything else I'm reading lately.


Figured as much, just thought I'd ask.

Regarding your post, it is a possibility. It would be a major "holy fuck'' moment. Way out of left field. If true, May Jay deserves a fucking Oscar.

snazzlefrass said

Hooker With A Penis said
Figure of speech, snazz. But it makes more sense than anything else I'm reading lately.


Figured as much, just thought I'd ask.

Regarding your post, it is a possibility. It would be a major "holy fuck'' moment. Way out of left field. If true, May Jay deserves a fucking Oscar.


Blair did say it would be out of left field.  He also said it was something we wouldn't have guessed, and them completing the album in secret was one of the things we guessed.

 

So here's what I think is really going on:

Recently when asked about Tool Maynard has said that's he "not lazy" and this just started happening in the last couple of months.  So I think Maynard got sick of hearing people ask about the album so he wrote and recorded the new Tool album all by himself.

UndKeineEier said

snazzlefrass said


Hooker With A Penis said
Figure of speech, snazz. But it makes more sense than anything else I'm reading lately.


Figured as much, just thought I'd ask.

Regarding your post, it is a possibility. It would be a major "holy fuck'' moment. Way out of left field. If true, May Jay deserves a fucking Oscar.


Blair did say it would be out of left field.  He also said it was something we wouldn't have guessed, and them completing the album in secret was one of the things we guessed.

 

So here's what I think is really going on:

Recently when asked about Tool Maynard has said that's he "not lazy" and this just started happening in the last couple of months.  So I think Maynard got sick of hearing people ask about the album so he wrote and recorded the new Tool album all by himself.


Cuz Blair would never lie......

When all the rumors before this tour were twirling around I thought this "recorded the album in secret" was a possibility.  If you recall South America and the U.S. were also thought to be receiving some shows, which including Japan and Australia would make it pretty close to a world tour, and why have a world tour without a new album?  I know they've been touring pretty often the past few years, but it's always in one country (U.S.) or region (Australia/New Zealand etc.). 

 

Anyway, Hellboy saw my post and assured me his "source" would definitely have known and told him if they did, rendering this theory pretty much inept.  (For the newcomers, HB has a pretty damn good track record, though even he has been caught off guard at times, such as last year's U.S. tour)

 

So as cool as this would be, nope, not happening. Would love to be wrong though.

 

 

 

EDIT: @ Tyson: I wasn't a fan during that time, what kind of "weird information" did they give out before Aenima?

Ravenpig said
When all the rumors before this tour were twirling around I thought this "recorded the album in secret" was a possibility.  If you recall South America and the U.S. were also thought to be receiving some shows, which including Japan and Australia would make it pretty close to a world tour, and why have a world tour without a new album?  I know they've been touring pretty often the past few years, but it's always in one country (U.S.) or region (Australia/New Zealand etc.). 

 

Anyway, Hellboy saw my post and assured me his "source" would definitely have known and told him if they did, rendering this theory pretty much inept.  (For the newcomers, HB has a pretty damn good track record, though even he has been caught off guard at times, such as last year's U.S. tour)

 

So as cool as this would be, nope, not happening. Would love to be wrong though.


Yeah, but would his source have known if Maynard had recorded the entire album himself?

 

Ravenpig said
When all the rumors before this tour were twirling around I thought this "recorded the album in secret" was a possibility.  If you recall South America and the U.S. were also thought to be receiving some shows, which including Japan and Australia would make it pretty close to a world tour, and why have a world tour without a new album?  I know they've been touring pretty often the past few years, but it's always in one country (U.S.) or region (Australia/New Zealand etc.). 

 

Anyway, Hellboy saw my post and assured me his "source" would definitely have known and told him if they did, rendering this theory pretty much inept.  (For the newcomers, HB has a pretty damn good track record, though even he has been caught off guard at times, such as last year's U.S. tour)

 

So as cool as this would be, nope, not happening. Would love to be wrong though.

 

 

 

EDIT: @ Tyson: I wasn't a fan during that time, what kind of "weird information" did they give out before Aenima?


My bad, it was Lateralus

 


"Tool may very well have wrapped up the Prick Band of the Year Award,
and its not even the end of January yet.

After information about its upcoming new album, supposedly titled
Systema Encephale, was posted on its official Web site on Monday
(allstar, Jan. 15), the band turned around and posted entirely
different information on Tuesday (Jan. 16).

Now, according to the site, the new album is called Evasion and will
include the following, obviously bogus
tracks: "Prescipissed," "Bindlecup," "Alcawhorlick," "Alcaharlot," "Bu
shwhacker," "Munge," "Poopy the Clown," "Gullabored," "Smell Me,"
and "Buzz's Revenge." No explanation was given, and the band's
management company knows nada.

Now we suppose the site could be getting hacked, but we have a
sneaking suspicion that Tool has just decided to toy with its fans,
the press, and anyone else who may or may not care. Not cool, guys.
Take a tip from Radiohead and keep those interested at bay by way of
integrity, not stupidity."

 

toolphishdhs said
if MJK did the whole album it would suck donkey balls. he can sing but he couldnt write close to anything as good as A/D/J's worst effort.   He is not a musician capable of such a large feat. 


Yeah, you just wait.

 

toolphishdhs said
i remember the head games before Lateralus. that was a fun time, but those days are long gone. they also had a fully operational website back then and a fan site. 


Yeah it sucks that there aren't any Tool fan sites anymore

Well not decent ones, all of them are run by absolute amateurs

Actually the premise of this thread was fine, until you guys shat all over it.

Tyson said
Well not decent ones, all of them are run by absolute amateurs


especially this second-hand knock-off of a tool forum

A band the size of Tool are incapable of recording an album in secret.  There's just too many third parties involved to keep something like this under wraps.

Last time I spoke to my source (who sadly is no longer in a position to give me a great deal of insight into new happenings in Tool) they're pretty much exactly where Blair and recent interviews suggest they are.

It is an interesting theory though, regardless of whether you agree with it.  Didn't Blair mention something about a March release in a past newsletter?

petemasterpete said

Tyson said
Well not decent ones, all of them are run by absolute amateurs


especially this second-hand knock-off of a tool forum




 

Tyson said

Ravenpig said
When all the rumors before this tour were twirling around I thought this "recorded the album in secret" was a possibility.  If you recall South America and the U.S. were also thought to be receiving some shows, which including Japan and Australia would make it pretty close to a world tour, and why have a world tour without a new album?  I know they've been touring pretty often the past few years, but it's always in one country (U.S.) or region (Australia/New Zealand etc.). 

 

Anyway, Hellboy saw my post and assured me his "source" would definitely have known and told him if they did, rendering this theory pretty much inept.  (For the newcomers, HB has a pretty damn good track record, though even he has been caught off guard at times, such as last year's U.S. tour)

 

So as cool as this would be, nope, not happening. Would love to be wrong though.

 

 

 

EDIT: @ Tyson: I wasn't a fan during that time, what kind of "weird information" did they give out before Aenima?


My bad, it was Lateralus

 

"Tool may very well have wrapped up the Prick Band of the Year Award,
and its not even the end of January yet.

After information about its upcoming new album, supposedly titled
Systema Encephale, was posted on its official Web site on Monday
(allstar, Jan. 15), the band turned around and posted entirely
different information on Tuesday (Jan. 16).

Now, according to the site, the new album is called Evasion and will
include the following, obviously bogus
tracks: "Prescipissed," "Bindlecup," "Alcawhorlick," "Alcaharlot," "Bu
shwhacker," "Munge," "Poopy the Clown," "Gullabored," "Smell Me,"
and "Buzz's Revenge." No explanation was given, and the band's
management company knows nada.

Now we suppose the site could be getting hacked, but we have a
sneaking suspicion that Tool has just decided to toy with its fans,
the press, and anyone else who may or may not care. Not cool, guys.
Take a tip from Radiohead and keep those interested at bay by way of
integrity, not stupidity."

 


Yea I definitely remember the pre-Lateralus stuff.  Honestly the only "trick" they've done that fooled me for a while.  I just thought it was something they'd do.  It's not like Aenima didn't have any weird track names, you know?

 

And speaking of their "tricks", how anyone could've believed the "May Jay left Tool because he found Jesus" one is way beyond me.  How does one read that and not immediately know it's a joke?

 

I certainly wouldn't consider him one to find Jesus, but his vitriol against religion seems to have lessened over the years. It seems he mocks the human flaws of religion (ie: blind faith, selective following of tenants) more than the deities themselves, a shift in criticism. On second thought, maybe he hasn't grown to be any more forgiving, just hates the flawed worshipper, not the god. Thoughts? Too touchy of a subject to bring up here? 

Ravenpig said

Tyson said


Ravenpig said
When all the rumors before this tour were twirling around I thought this "recorded the album in secret" was a possibility.  If you recall South America and the U.S. were also thought to be receiving some shows, which including Japan and Australia would make it pretty close to a world tour, and why have a world tour without a new album?  I know they've been touring pretty often the past few years, but it's always in one country (U.S.) or region (Australia/New Zealand etc.). 

 

Anyway, Hellboy saw my post and assured me his "source" would definitely have known and told him if they did, rendering this theory pretty much inept.  (For the newcomers, HB has a pretty damn good track record, though even he has been caught off guard at times, such as last year's U.S. tour)

 

So as cool as this would be, nope, not happening. Would love to be wrong though.

 

 

 

EDIT: @ Tyson: I wasn't a fan during that time, what kind of "weird information" did they give out before Aenima?


My bad, it was Lateralus

 

"Tool may very well have wrapped up the Prick Band of the Year Award,
and its not even the end of January yet.

After information about its upcoming new album, supposedly titled
Systema Encephale, was posted on its official Web site on Monday
(allstar, Jan. 15), the band turned around and posted entirely
different information on Tuesday (Jan. 16).

Now, according to the site, the new album is called Evasion and will
include the following, obviously bogus
tracks: "Prescipissed," "Bindlecup," "Alcawhorlick," "Alcaharlot," "Bu
shwhacker," "Munge," "Poopy the Clown," "Gullabored," "Smell Me,"
and "Buzz's Revenge." No explanation was given, and the band's
management company knows nada.

Now we suppose the site could be getting hacked, but we have a
sneaking suspicion that Tool has just decided to toy with its fans,
the press, and anyone else who may or may not care. Not cool, guys.
Take a tip from Radiohead and keep those interested at bay by way of
integrity, not stupidity."

 


Yea I definitely remember the pre-Lateralus stuff.  Honestly the only "trick" they've done that fooled me for a while.  I just thought it was something they'd do.  It's not like Aenima didn't have any weird track names, you know?

 

And speaking of their "tricks", how anyone could've believed the "May Jay left Tool because he found Jesus" one is way beyond me.  How does one read that and not immediately know it's a joke?

 


This might come as a shock, but many TOOL fans are, in fact, morons.

 

I'd say it's more that they are American than Tool fans, it was reported on MTV.

I doubt any Tool fan actually believed it for more than 2 seconds.