Tool Lives!

Post by **hellboy** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 3:57 pm

Update: Turns out it was all just a misunderstanding - Adam, Justin and Danny will be joining Tool after all! In other foolish news, it appears King Buzzo is the winner of the first Opiate Reissue "Seal of Xatanitos":

In breaking news just at hand:

Frontier Touring are disappointed to announce that Tool will no longer be playing shows in Australia this April/May however are equally pleased to announce that they will be replaced on tour by TOOL LIVES!

Singer Maynard James Keenan will be joined on stage by bass player Matt McJunkins, Drummer Jeff Friedl and guitar player Mark Tremonti as they play all the Tool hits in a unique in-the-round experience.

"This has been a long time coming," announces Keenan. "Danny, Adam and Justin are hard at work on the new Tool album, and rather than disrupting their work schedule, I thought it would be in the best interests of the band to continue the tour without them. I've been touring with Mat and Jeff for a while now, so it seemed only natural to ask them to join the band. I've been a fan of Mark since his early days with Creed, and look forward to collaborating with him on this tour."

Drummer Jeff Friedl is aware of the big shoes he has to fill: "Danny Carey is an amazing drummer!" he exclaims "It'll be a challenge nailing his double kick parts, but I'm sure I'll get there."

Mark Tremonti gives us a taste of the setlist: "Maynard would like us to lay down some covers. He made a list for us and I was happy to see Imagine and a bunch of other of my favorite 70s protest songs that we'll spin during each show."

We are also pleased to announced that there will be a wine tasting for VIP ticket holders prior to each Australian show. Each ticket, valued at $500 comes with a free plastic wine glass, a novelty shopping bag, and a pair of socks recently worn by members of the band. "There isn't much to do on the long flights in cattle class," explains McJunkins "so we'll each be wearing a bunch of different socks as a special gift for the fans." Glasses of Caduceus wine may be purchased for $30 each.

I've contacted Blair for confirmation on this and will let you know what I hear...

markuspoop · Post by **markuspoop** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:04 pm

You lucky sons of bitches. Â These shows are bound to be EPIC. Â Wish I could be there but I'll give someone money to get me a, what should be highly collectible, show poster.

That said, I can see where MJK finally got fed up with Adam, Danny, and Justin's shit and told them to take a hike, thus creating the current circumstances. Â Too bad but oh we'll, what can ya do?

Ravenpig · Post by **Ravenpig** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:07 pm

I'll comment on this later, too busy buying plane tickets to Australia and New Zealand right now.

lipanconjuring · Post by **lipanconjuring** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:16 pm

Seems legit

Davvda · Post by **Davvda** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:16 pm

What. The. Fuck?

Outsider · Post by **Outsider** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:17 pm

sounds like april 1st came a few hours early this year.

insertcrypticnameher · Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:19 pm

1. fuel the lawyers

2. Paul D., grab your meth and your shotgun and I'll contact SWAT

'][' [[]] [[]] ][, · Post by **'][' [[]] [[]] ][,** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:37 pm

I'm selling my truck and my collection of Star Wars memorabilia so I can fly down under to see this. Â This is the best news ever.

madson4562 · Post by **madson4562** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:19 pm

Only thing that could make this news any better is if they also announced that David Draiman and Dave Matthews were going to provide guest vocals on Pushit and Maynard's Dick. Also, according to an e-mail I got earlier today, it looks like the Opiate re-release is shipping 5 weeks ahead of schedule. And that's no joke.

Post by **petemasterpete** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:22 pm

TAoutsider said
sounds like april 1st came a few hours early this year.

not if you're in australia... seems they see into the future along with all their other mysterious bullshit

NickTheGC · Post by **NickTheGC** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 5:38 pm

An obvious April Fools joke. Hahaha

brewdog123 · Post by **brewdog123** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:16 pm

NickTheGC said
An obvious April Fools joke. Hahaha

N.Y.H.C. · Post by **N.Y.H.C.** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:27 pm

TAoutsider said
sounds like april 1st came a few hours early this year.

Post by **The Boss** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:54 pm

What a unique experience this will be. It'll be good to how how other musicians handle the songs, with the 'Nard still frontin'.

Have fun, guys! Also, that $30 per glass of wine is a bargain!

Bogart · Post by **Bogart** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:22 pm

Seems too good to be true...guitarist from Creed?! It doesn't get ay better than this. You Aussie fucks are lucky

ziggy23 · Post by **ziggy23** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:32 pm

1st april, bitches)

Post by **snazzlefrass** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 7:41 pm

TAoutsider said
sounds like april 1st came a few hours early this year.

My thoughts exactly. Fucking laughable. Nah, it's just painfully false. If true though, fucking laughable.

'][' [[]] [[]] ][, · Post by **'][' [[]] [[]] ][,** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:40 pm

There's no way this is an April fools joke. Â I mean c'mon, how stupid are you people?

Post by **Kittaan** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:57 pm

^ 100% Legit. Â I'm a huge Tremonti fan, and of course I'm on his mailing list (duh!). Â He sent out a note to the entire Tremonti-Army (a wholly owned subsidiary of Creed-Army) announcing this awesome news and letting us know how STOKED he is.

Very excited for everyone in Oz and NZ, you guys will need to wear Depends to these shows, as you will for sure be wetting yourselves.

Post by **The Boss** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:11 pm

I'm just glad that the 'Nard decided to continue with the tour. This is so typical of his devotion and appreciation of his fans.

Post by **The Boss** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 9:47 pm

Love the name, too! I hope the next TOOL album is called "WELCOME TO GUY'S VALLEY"!!!

Calfium Jay · Post by **Calfium Jay** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:44 pm

hellboy1975 said
"Danny, Adam and Justin are hard at work on the new Tool album.....",

I knew it was a joke as soon as I read this.

jun2san · Post by **jun2san** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 10:52 pm

I love that you guys are carrying on with toolshed.down.net's yearly tradition!

mattw · Post by **mattw** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:28 pm

^I'm just disappointed there wasn't an opportunity for a Creed-army ticket presale. My membership money is going to waste...

MOG · Post by **MOG** » Tue Apr 02, 2013 1:09 am

Calfium Jay said

hellboy1975 said
"Danny, Adam and Justin are hard at work on the new Tool album.....",

I knew it was a joke as soon as I read this.

^ You will always be my favorite hipster.