The Grudge (WARNING: 26 years to #6?)

[The Boss]

I've found that MASTODON are really easy to lose interest in.

That's probably just me, though.

[Ravenpig]

I've found that MASTODON are really easy to lose interest in.

That's probably just me, though.

Leviathan is awesome. Everything else I've heard by them has been a big pile of "meh".

[MOG]

Tool hate only you fucks. Take the Mastodon talk elsewhere.

#Tool201bwhahahahahahahahaha

[Ravenpig]

I'd follow those guidelines if you didn't write essays on how much you don't care about Tool in every other thread.

[MOG]

I'd follow those guidelines if you didn't write essays on how much you don't care about Tool in every other thread.

How about I make you up a nice cock meat sandwich? You can even call me Fiona while you are gobbling

[Ravenpig]

Sorry but bite size won't satisfy this hunger

[MOG]

Sorry but bite size won't satisfy this hunger

Bite size my ass

[ilikecheese]

I've found that MASTODON are really easy to lose interest in.

That's probably just me, though.

[BBvideo 560,340][/BBvideo]

[Calfium Jay]

Yeah. Nearly eight years between albums now. We're moving into Kubrickian territory here, folks.

I envisage the three of them (sans Maynard) sitting on the floor in a darkened room. Adam is nestling a cup of coffee (although it may have been something a little stronger) and Justin is wearing a poncho. On the wall hangs a photo of Richard Nixon. With boobies and horns childishly scribbled over it.

They are motionless. Time speeds up (like it does it the movies, where you see the hands of a clock face go round really, really fast and shadows move across the wall to simulate the effect of time speeding up - you dig?) and the band remain motionless. Seasons change, leaves fall from trees, children go through puberty. Still they sit there motionless, silent.

Then -perhaps months (?) later - suddenly Danny sits bolt upright. "Hey!! Here's a thing. How about we.......".

This is how I picture the album slowly progressing.

Pretty laughable. Led Zeppelin more or less released their entire output during an eight year period.

[Ravenpig]

Well it's easy to do when half your catalog is covers

The Doors released 6 albums in 5 years.

[UndKeineZwEier]

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[children]

Led Zeppelin and The Doors albums were all roughly 40 minutes long. That was the normal length of an album back then.

TOOL albums would of been double albums in those days. So let's see...

Opiate would equal 1 full album
Undertow would be 2
Aenima would be 2
Salival i will count as 1, simply for the unreleased tracks alone
Lateralus is 2
10,000 Days is 2

That's 10 albums, which are more complex and technical than anything Led Zeppelin or The Doors ever did.

I love those two bands, by the way...

[all_one_mind]

I envisage the three of them (sans Maynard) sitting on the floor in a darkened room. Adam is nestling a cup of coffee (although it may have been something a little stronger) and Justin is wearing a poncho. On the wall hangs a photo of Richard Nixon. With boobies and horns childishly scribbled over it.

Really? I envisage them spending their piles of money because they're old and may die without a chance to use it all

[Kittaan]

Led Zeppelin and The Doors albums were all roughly 40 minutes long. That was the normal length of an album back then.

TOOL albums would of been double albums back then. So let's see...

Opiate would equal 1 full album
Undertow would be 2
Aenima would be 2
Salival i will count as 1, simply for the unreleased tracks alone
Lateralus is 2
10,000 Days is 2

That's 10 albums, which are more complex and technical than anything Led Zeppelin or The Doors ever did.

Well.....

A standard 12" LP is about 52 minutes total (26 minutes a side). But there are many examples of LPs exceeding 60 minutes, even up to 90 - but fidelity suffers.

Removing the filler tracks, the five Tool releases are as follows:

Opiate = 6 Tracks / 27 Minutes
Undertow = 9 Tracks / 53 Minutes
AEnima = 8 Tracks / 67 Minutes
Lateralus = 9 Tracks / 71 Minutes
10,000 Days = 8 Tracks / 67 Minutes

[children]

I include the "fillers" because they make the albums more cohesive as a whole, but if you were to remove the fillers it would actually be like this:

Opiate is 6 tracks equaling about 26 minutes when you subtract the minute of silence between "Opiate" and "The Gaping Lotus Experience" (which i don't consider a segue)
Undertow is 10 tracks (i include "Disgustipated") equaling roughly 60 minutes when you subtract the cricket noises
Aenima is 9 tracks (NOT 8) equaling 66 minutes
Lateralus is 7 tracks ("Disposition/Reflection/Triad" is one song) equaling 76 minutes (the only segue i am subtracting is "Faaip de Oiad"; the other segues are part of the songs themselves: "Eon Blue Apocalypse/The Patient", "Mantra/Schism", "Parabol/Parabola")
10,000 Days is 6 tracks ("Wings for Marie/10,000 Days", "Lost Keys (Blame Hofmann)/Rosetta Stoned", "Intension/Right in Two" are each one song) equaling just under 70 minutes

[Kittaan]

"That's what you get when you argue with children"

-Tyson

[ilikecheese]

Led Zeppelin and The Doors albums were all roughly 40 minutes long. That was the normal length of an album back then.

TOOL albums would of been double albums back then. So let's see...

Opiate would equal 1 full album
Undertow would be 2
Aenima would be 2
Salival i will count as 1, simply for the unreleased tracks alone
Lateralus is 2
10,000 Days is 2

That's 10 albums, which are more complex and technical than anything Led Zeppelin or The Doors ever did.

Well.....

I love a huge, throbbing 12" LP, about 52 minutes total (26 minutes a side). But there are many examples of LPs exceeding 60 minutes, even up to 90 - but fidelity suffers.

Removing the filler tracks, the five Tool releases are as follows:

Opiate = 6 Tracks / 27 Minutes
Undertow = 9 Tracks / 53 Minutes
AEnima = 8 Tracks / 67 Minutes
Lateralus = 9 Tracks / 71 Minutes
10,000 Days = 8 Tracks / 67 Minutes

[children]

Hahaha!

I think Cheese is the real "troll" here... but some of my favorite people in the world are trolls.

Andy Kaufman and Tim & Eric are the definition of trolls, but at the same time, i wouldn't refer to them as trolls. I'm not sure if there is an existing word to describe people such as this. I guess you could call them comedic geniuses, but i am almost positive they would resent and mock that pretension.

[N.Y.H.C.]

Sorry but bite size won't satisfy this hunger

Bite size my ass

hahahaha!!! WATER MY ASS!! BRING THIS GUY SOME PEPTO-BISMOL!!

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[ilikecheese]

Hahaha!

I think Cheese is the real "troll" here... but some of my favorite people in the world are trolls.

Andy Kaufman and Tim & Eric are the definition of trolls, but at the same time, i wouldn't refer to them as trolls. I'm not sure if there is an existing word to describe people such as this. I guess you could call them comedic geniuses, but i am almost positive they would resent and mock that pretension.

all the world's a stage

[robertbyrd]

let it be, let it be mmmmmeeeeeeee

[MOG]

Since Dickface, I mean Hellboy, locked the other thread I figured we could start back up over here.

@Trilobite - I think you are high off your ass. I have no idea where you came up with that time table / action plan but I think you might want to put down whatever it is you are smoking. Now, just for the sake of argument, say you are right, and your time table is spot on. Sort of just reinforces how pathetic Tool have become.

If your time table is correct, then you are looking close to 9 years between albums. That is a joke. All of the rest of the things you mentioned are who gives a shit endeavors.

@Children - You are a fucking idiot.

[Baahumbug]

Dude mog you're judging a band on something that hasn't even happened yet.

[MOG]

Dude mog you're judging a band on something that hasn't even happened yet.

Uh last time I checked it is almost December and they are nowhere close to hitting the studio. Best case scenario you Toolios get a 4th qtr 2014 release, which would be 8 and half years between albums. For all intents and purposes 9 years between albums. Pathetic.

Just a heads up for you Baa, this thread is designated for hating on Tool. Don't want to get accused of derailing another Tool thread

As for the delay and complexity of music argument that is horseshit. Meshuggah make music more complicated than Tool, have been around just as long as Tool, and consistently put out new albums every 3-4 years.

[Kittaan]

For any new or new-ish members: This thread was created expressly for venting frustration about Tool (delays, laziness, what the fuck ever / real or imagined!).

It is here to gather any and all vitriol, in order to keep it out of all the other threads (we can dream, right?)

So, when the regular Tool bashers go at it here, by all means engage them if you want, but refrain from reprimanding them for Tool bashing. After all, that's why the thread is here...